Hi all, thanks for reading this post.
My mum was diagnosed with lung cancer in 2018 for which she has 1/4 of one of her lungs removed along with some lymph nodes followed by a course of chemotherapy. This was successful and she was back to pretty much full health until mid-2020 when she went for a check up and two tumours on her liver were found. Since this was considered secondary cancer, no operation to remove the tumours was offered and she was given radiotherapy followed by a trial treatment which was seemingly going well.
fast forward to June 2022 and my mum suffered three back to back seizures at home. Drs suspected the cancer had spread to her brain and an MRI scan confirmed it. My mum retired early due to ill health and now my dad has also retired early to become her full time carer.
Mum had targeted radiotherapy on her brain which helped to reduce the swelling around the tumours but following a scan, it was found that the tumours on her liver had grown and she is now coming to the end of another stint of chemo.
She is well in herself but doesn’t like to talk about how she’s feeling about it all because she doesn’t want to get upset (understandably) and my dad is also being extremely insular about it all too. She is due to receive results of this latest treatment in February and I am just so worried.
I gave birth to their only grandchild in June, three days before mum had her seizures and I really struggle to separate the two events. I didn’t have my mum when I needed her and I am so worried that when the inevitable happens, I won’t be able to cope, and my dad won’t either. She’s his life. I need to be able to support him now as well as in the future but I find it really hard to know what to say or do.
Sorry this is a bit of a ramble, and I know everyone on this forum is here for similar reasons so I hope this doesn’t come across as “woe is me” but I’ve had a lot of bottled up thoughts and feelings for quite some time now. I’d love to know how others in similar positions have coped and where I can seek support.
Thank you x
Hi Fayebs90 and welcome to the Online Community but so sorry to hear about your mum’s journey.
A cancer diagnosis like this in the family can be such a challenging and stressful time but I do hope you will find the Community a safe place to get support from family members who are navigating the same journey.
The Community is divided into support groups (discussion rooms) so can I recommend you join and post in our general Family and friends, Carers only and Supporting someone with incurable cancer support groups where you will connect with others dealing with the same challenges while supporting family.
If you'd like to connect in with a group click on the (Bold) links I have created above. Once the group page opens click on the black banner that says [click to join] at the bottom, or the [Join] button under "Group tools."
You can then introduce yourself by putting up a ‘new post’ by clicking in the box near the top right with + New or + (Depending on the device you are using) and you are ready to go. You could copy and paste the text from this post into your new post.
The Macmillan Support Line is open from 8am-8pm (timings may differ across services) 7 days a week on 0808 808 00 00 where you can talk with someone about specific cancer and practical information, get emotional support, benefits/financial guidance or just connect with a listening ear.
We also have our Ask an Expert section but do allow a few working days for a reply.
Talking to people face to face can be very helpful so do check to see if you have any Local Macmillan Support in your area, do also check for a local Maggie's Centre as these folks are amazing and aim to give support to all the family.
Please do get back to me if you need further help.
