My sister has terminal cancer (rectum) and secondary in lung , sadly no treatment available for either , she doesn’t want any one to visit I have asked to come see her as she is now at home , spoke to my nieces . I’m trying to be supportive . Any advice

Hello I’m so sorry to hear about your sister. Cancer is a devastating disease both for the one that has and it for all of us that love them. I have lost my mother my brother and now my sister to it. In October of 2017 my sister was diagnosed with colon cancer then lung cancer which caused her to loose half her left lung. She lived three years with it and died in January of 2012. She only spoke to me one time on the phone and texted me a few times and never allowed me to come and see her. We had been very close off and on in our lives and I loved her very much. It broke my heart. I’m in a position to go stay with her and to take care of her but she hired a nurse instead. Everyone has a right to their dignity and to decide how they want to die if they have choices. I could only honor her wishes. So I understand your pain I’m so sad for you and your grief. Please feel free to talk to me. Their isn’t anything that you have to hold back. Prayers and peace to you. Diane. 

Hi   and welcome to the Online Community but so sorry to hear about your sisters diagnosis.

A cancer diagnosis like this in the family can be such a challenging and stressful time but I do hope you will find the Community a safe place to get support from family members who are navigating the same journey.

The Community is divided into support groups (discussion rooms) so can I recommend you join and post in our general Family and friends and Supporting someone with incurable cancer support groups where you will connect with others dealing with the same challenges while supporting family

If you'd like to connect in with a group click on the (Bold) links I have created above. Once the group page opens click on the black banner that says [click to join] at the bottom, or the [Join] button under "Group tools."

You can then introduce yourself by putting up a ‘new post’ by clicking in the box near the top right with + New or + (Depending on the device you are using) and you are ready to go.

It is an emotional time supporting family so you might find this Macmillan information your feelings when someone has cancer helpful as well as this link getting help with your emotions.

The Macmillan Support Line is open from 8am-8pm (timings may differ across services) 7 days a week on 0808 808 00 00 where you can talk with someone about specific cancer and practical information, get emotional support, benefits/financial guidance or just connect with a listening ear. 

We also have our Ask an Expert section but do allow a few working days for a reply.

Talking to people face to face can be very helpful so do check to see if you have any Local Macmillan Support in your area, do also check for a local Maggie's Centre as these folks are amazing and aim to give support to all the family.

Please do get back to me if you need further help.