The long wait

Interesting post.  When I was given my cancer diagnosis it was my first visit to the urology consultant.  He had a nurse specialist in the room and my first thought on entering the room was "oh I do have cancer then!".  I vowed to never allow a consultant manipulate the meeting like that again.  Similarly, I don't understand why a consultant would advise a patient to bring someone with them.  They are making huge assumptions on the requirements and preferences of their patients.  However I acknowledge I have seen people register negative experiences when alone and receiving a diagnosis or significant updates.  We are all different.  Consultants are all different in style and approach too.  There's no set pattern.   I have never been advised to bring someone with me.  If they did, I probably wouldn't, on principle!  My oncologist wouldn't do that now (perhaps never) because we've established a good working relationship.   I always take paper and pen to record what I'm told. Even if I took my husband along he would just sit there and say nothing, so no point!  Also I'd be worrying about how he was taking it.  Such hassle is not required! 

Mmum said:

 I have never been advised to bring someone with me.  If they did, I probably wouldn't, on principle!  My oncologist wouldn't do that now (perhaps never) because we've established a good working relationship.   I always take paper and pen to record what I'm told. Even if I took my husband along he would just sit there and say nothing, so no point! 

I'm the opposite.

I frequently advise people to take somebody with them. As soon as cancer is mentioned a lot of what is said goes out the window and an extra pair of ears is invaluable. At my early appointments my husband picked things up that I had missed.

The other thing that I recommend is that you take a list of questions with you...two copies, one for you and one for your consultant. Tick them off as they get answered