Supporting Mum

I am in a similar situation to yourself and it’s horrible. Everything has just hit me at once. There’s not much advice I can offer to you but the usual that everyone says, spend time with her even if it’s just sitting in the same room. Talk to each other even if it means a few tears here and there. Watch your favourite films together, take pictures, read together. 

After they are gone they always say time heals the pain but it will still be there, all I can say is accept the pain, don’t try to avoid it, the quicker we can embrace it the easier it may be. Just remember your mum will always be apart of you no matter where she is. You are half her and you will carry on her memory for as long as you live. Live a full life for her because that’s what she’d want you to do. 

I’m so sorry that you’re experiencing something similar. It’s such a horrible and terrifying thing. Since my mums operation, she’s had to sleep downstairs in the livingroom so every night we’ve been chatting for hours and had a few deep conversations here and there. I work at night most of the time and come home around 2am and she’s always wanting me to wake her so we can have our usual chats. We’ve grew a lot closer which I’m so grateful for but there’s always that dread at the back of my head that reminds me that one day, all this will stop. 
Like you said, my mum wants me to live a full life. I’m a photographer and she’s still encouraging me to go out and keep going. She loves looking at all the photos and I’ve done video calls with her to show her where I am so even though she can’t get out much, she still feels included.

Like you said too, everything’s hit me all of a sudden. It comes in waves almost. I have such a bad habit of avoiding things so I think I’ll try and accept the emotion a bit more.

I wish you all the best and remember, you’re not alone!

Hi and welcome to the Online Community but so sorry to hear about your mum’s diagnosis.

A cancer diagnosis like this in the family can be such a challenging and stressful time but I do hope you will find the Community a safe place to get support and to ask your questions.

The Community is divided into support groups (discussion rooms) so can I recommend you join and post in our supportive Glioblastoma multiforme support group. This is a safe place to talk to others who may have a similar diagnosis and treatment experience, to ask questions and get support from family members who are navigating the same journey.

If you'd like to connect in with a group click on the Green (Bold) Group link I have created above. Once the group page opens click on the black banner that says [click to join] at the bottom, or the [Join] button under "Group tools."

You can then introduce yourself by putting up a ‘new post’ by clicking in the box near the top right with + New or + (Depending on the device you are using) and you are ready to go. You could copy and paste the text from this post into your new post.

It is an emotional time supporting family so you might find this Macmillan information your feelings when someone has cancer helpful as well as this link getting help with your emotions and when it comes to the practical and emotional challenges of supporting family you may also benefit from joining our general Carers only and Supporting someone with incurable cancer support groups where you will connect with others navigating the same support challenges.

The Macmillan Support Line is open from 8am-8pm (timings may differ across services) 7 days a week on 0808 808 00 00 where you can talk with someone about specific cancer and practical information, get emotional support, benefits/financial guidance or just connect with a listening ear. 

We also have our Ask an Expert section but do allow a few working days for a reply.

Talking to people face to face can be very helpful so do check to see if you have any Local Macmillan Support in your area, do also check for a local Maggie's Centre as these folks are amazing and aim to give support to all the family.

Please do get back to me if you need further help.

Hi  and a warm welcome to you as well. I do hope you find the information I have posted to  helpful.

It’s often good to connect with others supporting family on the same cancer type treatment journey so you may want to have a look through THIS LIST where you will find all our dedicated cancer specific support groups listed.

If you want to join a group just use the instructions I posted in my ininst reply.

Do get back to me if you need further help.