Hello all, I am new and would like if anyone could help, my mum was diagnosed with breast cancer middle of the year, stage 2 her2 positive ( I’m scrambled with exactly the names ). She is my absolute rock and bestfriend so taking it in has been well I can’t even explain to be honest. I just want to understand the best way to support her. I know I’m doing best I can but I just feel I’m distancing myself from her everytime she has her treatment, seeing her so poorly, confused, slow speech repeating/ forgetting. Just not what I’m used to seeing, my children are very good with it but I suppose that’s children, I try and keep strong and cry when I’m home alone, but I feel selfish even writing this, other siblings of mine don’t really bother just myself, angers me, apologise again for sounding this way.
my point is how can I support her ?
how do I know she’s really ok? ( it’s like she’s staying strong for me but she shouldn’t be iv told her it’s ok to be ok and also ok to cry )
when my children are unwell I avoid her cause I would never forgive myself if she gets a virus on top but she just don’t take no for an answer and says I’m fine.
i know this post is probably very confusing but I’m confused my head doesn’t really know how to explain when iv never been in this situation before.
i really appreciate anyone that responds with any best advice possible even if no advice I still appreciate this site.
thankyou
Hi C.girl and welcome to the Online Community but so sorry to hear about your mum’s diagnosis.
A cancer diagnosis in the family can be such a challenging and stressful time but I do hope you will find the Community a safe place to get support and to ask your questions.
The Community is divided into support groups (discussion rooms) so can I recommend you join and post in our supportive Breast cancer support group. This is a safe place to talk to others who may have a similar diagnosis and treatment experience, to ask questions and get support from family members who are navigating the same journey.
If you'd like to connect in with a group click on the Green (Bold) Group link I have created above. Once the group page opens click on the black banner that says [click to join] at the bottom, or the [Join] button under "Group tools."
You can then introduce yourself by putting up a ‘new post’ by clicking in the box near the top right with + New or + (Depending on the device you are using) and you are ready to go. You could copy and paste the text from this post into your new post
When it comes to the practical and emotional challenges of supporting family you may also benefit from joining our general Family and friends support groups where you will connect with others navigating the same support challenges.
The Macmillan Support Line is open from 8am-8pm (timings may differ across services) 7 days a week on 0808 808 00 00 where you can talk with someone about specific cancer and practical information, get emotional support or just connect with a listening ear. We also have our Ask an Expert section but do allow a few working days for a reply.
Talking to people face to face can be very helpful so do check to see if you have any Local Macmillan Support in your area, do also check for a local Maggie's Centre as these folks are amazing and aim to give support to all the family.
Please do get back to me if you need further help.
