Hi, I'm new to the group and not at all sure how it works. Let me tell you a bit about me. I first had breast cancer 12 years ago when my husband was suffering from dementia. I finished treatment in October and he died that December. He was the kindest of men and would have been such a powerful support if he had been able, but he never understood I was ill or why it was so hard for me to care for him on those days when the effects of chemo were at their worst.
My son died suddenly and totally unexpectedly 5 years ago, also in the December. I was heartbroken and a year later was diagnosed with the return of my breast cancer, but now it had metastasized and was in my lungs. I decided not to take treatment wishing to stay feeling as well as I could for as long as I could. My main goal was to see both my granddaughters through University. The eldest one has now graduated and the younger is in her final year. I now also have a very small lesion on my liver, but that also seems to have stabilised again. I feel perfectly well and everyone remarks on how well I look. I don't know if there are others in the group who have made the same decision. I am 78 years old and reckoned treatment could not extend my life for long.
I find it hard to show my vulnerability and put a brave face on most of the time. I kind of hold it all together but it is very lonely containing all this uncertainty about my health and the burden of my bereavements. I don't have any close family and many friends seem to want to avoid the subject.
Hi and a warm welcome to the Online Community but so sorry to hear about you have been on over the years. My sincere condolences on the loss of your husband and son.
A cancer journey like this is such a stressful and challenging time but you have done the right thing in reaching out to a place where you can ask questions and getting support from others who are on the ‘exact’ same cancer and journey.
The Community is divided into support groups (discussion rooms) so can I recommend you join and post in our supportive Living with incurable cancer - incurable patients only support group. This is a safe place to talk to others with a similar diagnosis to ask questions and get support.
If you'd like to connect in with a group click on the Green (Bold) Group Link I have created above. Once the group page opens click on the black banner that says [click to join] at the bottom, or the [Join] button under "Group tools."
You can then introduce yourself by putting up a ‘new post’ by clicking in the box near the top right with + New or + (Depending on the device you are using) and you are ready to go. You could copy and paste the text from this post into your new post.
The Macmillan Support Line is open from 8am-8pm (timings may differ across services) 7 days a week on 0808 808 00 00 where you can talk with someone about specific cancer and practical information, get emotional support, benefits/financial guidance or just connect with a listening ear. We also have our Ask an Expert section but do allow a few working days for a reply.
We also have our Telephone Buddy Service where you can be matched with someone who understands what you're going through, and they'll give you a weekly call.
Talking to people face to face can be very helpful so do check to see if you have any Local Macmillan Support in your area, do also check for a local Maggie's Centre as these folks are amazing and aim to give support to all the family.
Do get back to me if you need further help ((hugs))
Hi again...... sorry for not getting back to you but I have been at the hospital all this afternoon.
Links will often look different depend on the device you are using.
To connect into the Living with Incurable Cancer Group click on the bold text on the right > Living with incurable cancer - incurable patients only
This should take you directly to the group then follow the instructions in my first post above.
Do get back to me if you need further help.
