My dad is stage 4 bladder cancer, he had to have a double nafrostomy, it’s in operable, chemo didn’t work, he’s too poorly for radiotherapy, he did try immunotherapy for a bit but has decided nothing is helping and he feels worse and doesn’t want anymore so all treatment has stopped. He’s lost all his weight, he doesn’t eat or drink really as he always feels sick. He has tried the anti sickness meds. He doesn’t look like himself, Now his eyes are bulging, he’s lost the use of his eyelids so one is permanently shut and the other struggles to stay open, his voice has changed and now sounds raspy, he still feels sick. Is all the normal, if there is such a thing? It’s really sad to watch, we’ve not been given any idea on how long he has. He’s too poorly to travel to the hospital really.
Hi and a welcome to the Online Community but so sorry to hear about your dad’s diagnosis.
A cancer diagnosis like this in the family can be such a challenging and stressful time but I do hope you will find the Community a safe place to get support from family members who are navigating the same journey.
The Community is divided into support groups (discussion rooms) so can I recommend you join and post in our general Carers only and Supporting someone with incurable cancer support groups where you will connect with others dealing with the same challenges while supporting family.
If you'd like to connect in with a group click on the Green (Bold) links I have created above. Once the group page opens click on the black banner that says [click to join] at the bottom, or the [Join] button under "Group tools."
You can then introduce yourself by putting up a ‘new post’ by clicking in the box near the top right with + New or + (Depending on the device you are using) and you are ready to go. You could copy and paste the text from this post into your new post.
The Macmillan Support Line is open from 8am-8pm (timings may differ across services) 7 days a week on 0808 808 00 00 where you can talk with someone about specific cancer and practical information, get emotional support, benefits/financial guidance or just connect with a listening ear. We also have our Ask an Expert section but do allow a few working days for a reply.
Talking to people face to face can be very helpful so do check to see if you have any Local Macmillan Support in your area, do also check for a local Maggie's Centre as these folks are amazing and aim to give support to all the family.
Please do get back to me if you need further help.
