Hi everyone, I have finally found my way here after believing that my Dad's cancer is something we wouldn't have to worry about and how I thought I'd be able to spot the symptoms which would help to prepare me for the end of his journey....as it stands that could be more difficult than first thought.
My dad was diagnosed with throat cancer in October last year, he went straight in for chemo and got the all clear in June this year, 2 days later we had the devestating news that he also has lung cancer but would be unable to be treated as he had just finished his last lot of chemo so since June we have just got on with things and hoped for the best, 2 days ago we got told that there is a strong chance Dad now has bowel cancer.
We are all reeling from this as it it is one thing after another, he will definitely refuse surgery (which I doubt would even be an option for him) but don't know if he will be able to receive any treatment at all for anything.
Im so, so sad that my dad has lung cancer and we are steeling ourselves, he was doing ok, getting on with life but is quite weak and frail and has limited movement due to previous strokes but now I feel this other cancer will take him quicker as his body just wont be able to cope with yet another attack and it is this which I am unprepared for. It's just more for his body to deal with and even though as a family we are strong and there for each other I don't know where to turn.
It's completely out of control and there is absolutely nothing I or we as a family can do for him except to be there and stay strong on the outside.
I don't expect answers from anyone about how long he may have left because there is no one on the earth who knows that but I don't know how to make it better for him. How do I carve time out of work and home life to spend time with him and to feel that I have had the quality time that is clearly needed. Everyday that passes when I don't see him I feel guilty and know that when the time comes I will absolutely regret not seeing him enough.
We have been through a lot as a family, a lot more than is written here all down to a spiteful and evil individual who has absolutely broken our family apart and for this to happen now is like another punishment.
I just don't know where to turn or what to do or who to go to for help when we are being told that there is nothing that can be done.
We just feel helpless and hopeless and lost.
I am sending love and comfort, positive thoughts and healing vibes to anyone who needs them, this is an absolutely sh*tty time of life but being able to talk it through may help in some small way.
Hi and a welcome to the Online Community but so sorry to hear about your dad’s diagnosis.
A cancer diagnosis like this in the family can be such a challenging and stressful time but I do hope you will find the Community a safe place to get support from family members who are navigating the same journey.
The Community is divided into support groups (discussion rooms) so can I recommend you join and post in our general Carers only and Supporting someone with incurable cancer support groups where you will connect with others dealing with the same challenges while supporting family
If you'd like to connect in with a group click on the Green (Bold) links I have created above. Once the group page opens click on the black banner that says [click to join] at the bottom, or the [Join] button under "Group tools."
You can then introduce yourself by putting up a ‘new post’ by clicking in the box near the top right with + New or + (Depending on the device you are using) and you are ready to go. You could copy and paste the text from this post into your new post.
The Macmillan Support Line is open from 8am-8pm (timings may differ across services) 7 days a week on 0808 808 00 00 where you can talk with someone about specific cancer and practical information, get emotional support, benefits/financial guidance or just connect with a listening ear. We also have our Ask an Expert section but do allow a few working days for a reply.
Talking to people face to face can be very helpful so do check to see if you have any Local Macmillan Support in your area, do also check for a local Maggie's Centre as these folks are amazing and aim to give support to all the family.
Please do get back to me if you need further help.
((hugs))
