Hi everyone,
I'm new to the community and my partner has stage 4 bile duct cancer which was only diagnosed about 8 weeks ago. He's declining fast and I'm trying to get as many people (including his family) as possible to visit him to let him know how much he's loved.
The family part is turning out to be a problem though - his parents won't visit him. I've kept the family informed about his condition and have told them they need to visit soon but they keep putting it off. Is this a normal behaviour? How can I get them to understand the seriousness of his condition and that it's vital they visit him soon as he hasn't got long? I'm finding it absolutely heartbreaking that parents could ignore a dying child like this.
His parents are elderly and don't live locally (about 4 hours drive away), however my partner's elder brother has offered to collect them, transport them, accommodate them and then take them home again.
Thank you
Hi and welcome to the Online Community but so sorry to hear about your partners diagnosis. A cancer diagnosis in the family like this can be such a challenging and stressful time and you are going to find that there will be a mixture of how family are going to deal with this….. some reactions will not make sense to you…. but I do hope you will find the Community a safe place to get support.
The Community is divided into support groups (discussion rooms) so can I recommend you join our general
and
Supporting someone with incurable cancer
support groups where you will connect with others navigating the same challenges supporting family. These groups are safe places to talk to others, to ask questions.
If you'd like to connect in with a group click on the Green (Bold) links I have created above. Once the group page opens click on the black banner that says [click to join] at the bottom, or the [Join] button under "Group tools."
You can then introduce yourself by putting up a ‘new post’ by clicking in the box near the top right with + New or + (Depending on the device you are using) and you are ready to go. You could copy and paste the text from this post into your new post.
Macmillan have many support services so do check out the Macmillan Support Line is open 8am-8pm (timings may differ across services) 7 days a week on 0808 808 00 00. These services provide cancer information, practical information, emotional support, benefits/financial guidance or just a listening ear. We also have our Ask an Expert section but do allow a few working days for a reply.
Talking to people face to face can be very helpful so do check to see if you have any Local Macmillan Support in your area, do also check for a local Maggie's Centre as these folks are amazing and aim to give support to all the family.
Please do get back to me if you need further help.
((hugs))
