My partner of 22 years was diagnosed at the end of July with oesophageal cancer which by the time we reached the end of august was stage 4 with a prognosis of 6 to 12 months. She has had a hideous journey going through 2 stent operations which didn’t make the difference we were told they could. She has been in the hospice for 10 days to get on top of symptoms but it hasn’t been successful and she came home on Monday last week telling me ‘I can’t do this, I just want to come home and die peacefully’. I’m angry at the hurdles we’ve had on our cancer journey, some of the professionals we have met have been amazing and some shocking. We never got to meet with an oncologist, we had a phone call but not a video call as I was told they can’t ‘just be arranged’.
I’ve had a veery weepy day today as she has become significantly weaker, tinier and less coherent in her words. This feels the toughest journey and I feel so alone and sad.
Hi Ohmydays welcome to the Online Community but so sorry to hear about your your partners diagnosis.
A cancer diagnosis in the family like this can be such a challenging and stressful time but I do hope you will find the Community a safe place to get support.
The Community is divided into support groups (discussion rooms) so can I recommend you join our general Carers only and Supporting someone with incurable cancer support groups where you will connect with others navigating the same challenges supporting family. These groups are safe places to talk to others, to ask questions.
If you'd like to connect in with a group click on the Green (Bold) links I have created above. Once the group page opens click on the black banner that says [click to join] at the bottom, or the [Join] button under "Group tools."
You can then introduce yourself by putting up a ‘new post’ by clicking in the box near the top right with + New or + (Depending on the device you are using) and you are ready to go. You could copy and paste the text from this post into your new post.
Macmillan have many support services so do check out the Macmillan Support Line is open 8am-8pm (timings may differ across services) 7 days a week on 0808 808 00 00. These services provide cancer information, practical information, emotional support, benefits/financial guidance or just a listening ear. We also have our Ask an Expert section but do allow a few working days for a reply.
Talking to people face to face can be very helpful so do check to see if you have any Local Macmillan Support in your area, do also check for a local Maggie's Centre as these folks are amazing and aim to give support to all the family.
Please do get back to me if you need further help.
All the very best.
