I've never joined a forum like this before so forgive me if I’m being repetitive.
My 79 year dad had a huge SCC removed from his face last year, & a graft done to repair the hole. He was left with an eye that wouldn’t close, so lots of ophthalmologist appointments followed. Now, we are on the third lot of recurring disease around his neck, the latest being a lesion under his chin. Dad is, was, my mums carer so I’ve had to take on that role too.
Whilst my husband is amazing, & I love him dearly, I always feel I have to choose between him & my looking after my parents. Neither of them can see well, both have severe mobility issues, neither can drive any more. How do folk manage to balance their different roles? I’m struggling, I’ll be honest. Dad’s cancer cannot be cured, so we’ve been told, but it can be managed. This means at least 2 doctor/hospital visits per week on average, sometimes more. I’m self employed, have had to reduce my hours therefore income to look after them.
I feel I need to be with dad as time may be limited, but equally, feel I should put my husband first. Has anyone found a way to balance their loyalties?
many thanks.
Hi and a very warm welcome to the online community which I hope you'll find is both an informative and supportive place to be.
It does sound like you have a lot to deal with at the moment and I can understand the dilemma you find yourself in.
As the online community is divided up into different support groups, I'm going to recommend that you join the carers only group where you'll connect with others who are in similar circumstances to yourself.
To join just click on the link I've created which will take you directly to the group. You can then start a new post in the same way as you did here and join in with existing conversations by clicking on 'reply'.
When you feel up to it, it would be great if you could pop something about your dad's diagnosis and treatment so far into your profile as it really helps others when replying to you and also when looking for someone on a similar pathway. It also means that you don't have to keep repeating yourself. To do this click on your username and then select 'Profile'. You can amend it at any time and if you're not sure what to write you can take a look at mine by clicking on my username.
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"Never regret a day in your life, good days give you happiness, bad days give you experience"
