New Anticipatory Grief Member

Hi and a very warm welcome to the online community which I hope you'll find is both an informative and supportive place to be.

I'm really sorry to read that you have recently discovered that your mum's cervical cancer has spread to her lungs and her doctors have said that she has just weeks to live. I can only begin to imagine how hard this must be for you both.

As you know, the online community is divided up into different support groups and I can see that you've already found and joined the supporting someone with incurable cancer group. When you feel ready to post there, I'm sure you'll find the other members very supportive. 

Sending a virtual (((hug)))

I can understand how you must be feeling and no need to apologise. It's good to be able to discuss these things. A terminal prognosis is devastating for all the family. I have terminal cervical cancer too and my two daughters are hiding it well, but if I don't reply to texts or pick up a call straight away, I know they worry, seeing as I live alone after losing my partner in 2018. Luckily they don't live far away but both need to work, though visit when they can. I've just received an appointment for a ct scan to see where my cancer is at, so something else for them to worry about, whether its spread anywhere else. I have resigned myself to the inevitable outcome and feel well enough at present, though I know it will all change. Is you mum able to keep in touch with you by phone or text and is she having help at home, if you don't mind me asking?. Do keep in touch. The terminal cancer group is very supportive too in my experience.

Hi there,

Thanks for replying and understanding. I really appreciate it. 

I am so sorry to hear about your situation, however. I really hope your scan results come back with a positive response for you and your family. I'm really glad you have your daughters nearby. I think having family close makes a big difference.

Thank you - You can ask anything, I don't mind at all.

My mum is having palliative care at home now, but from what she's told me, the people looking after her are wonderful. I message her through Facebook every day and we videochat on Fridays and Tuesdays... Yesterday I was feeling a bit unwell with my covid booster, so I asked her if she still wanted to talk (if she'd have said "Yes." I would have, obviously), but she said she was actually really tired and suggested we leave it until Tuesday... Can I ask, is it wrong that I feel guilty over that? I mean I know she was tired and I said she should rest, but it feels wrong that we cancelled, somehow?

But yeah, I really hope your results turn out to be great news for you, truly. I wish all the best for you and your family :) 

Thank you very much for the kind words and warm welcome. I really appreciate it :)

Hi EMJ. No, please don't feel guilty as you couldn't help feeling rough. I had to cancel a visit from my youngest daughter as I've had a nasty cough and cold after my recent holiday in Tuscany, thankfully not covid,as did a test. My eldest had to cancel a visit to me recently too, when she was exhausted after a bad day at work. These things happen, but we all still love and care for each other. Thanks for you kind wishes.  I'll update as soon as I get scan results. Hopefully they won't keep me waiting too long x

I'm glad I wasn't being a bad person! I hope that your cold and cough clears up well soon and you recover well :) I'll keep my fingers crossed for your results. Please do let me know:) I wish you the very best! X