I am new to this group and was a bit scared to join. Having read some of the blogs I find them heartbreaking. So many younger people living with this terrible disease. My Mum died of lung cancer when I was 14, I am now 55 and my father of 92 has kept us 5 kids all so close. My step Mum aged 79 had major surgery 2 months ago and is home but not well and sleeps most of the time and my Dad does everything for her. He was diagnosed with bowel cancer 2 weeks ago and we are all reeling with shock. The consultant said he’d be lucky to see Christmas and we are heartbroken. He’s had an extraordinary life and is fortunate to be alive at this age, which is why I feel so guilty, but at the same time he is scared about dying. My step mum will not discuss it and has refused visitors and Dad is lonely. Because of covid and the war in Ukraine, my head was already all over the place and I’m on antidepressants. I feel like I have lost all motivation and am miserable. I cannot sleep and know I am drinking too much. How do people in cope with this pain? Me and my siblings don’t know what to do. We are keeping in touch with Dad regularly but we are all in a mess. Mum won’t be able to cope when he’s gone, it’s a sad miserable mess. I feel like I’m struggling to function with the most mundane of tasks and I don’t want to see anyone. I’m still working and the distraction is good but when I am home I just don’t want to do anything. I go to sleep thinking about this and wake with it on my mind, it’s like living a nightmare.
Hi and welcome to the Online Community although I am sorry to hear about your dad’s diagnosis and prognosis.
A cancer diagnosis like this in the family can be such a stressful and challenging time but I do hope you will find the community a safe place to get support and ask your questions.
The Community is divided into support groups (discussion rooms) and when it comes to the practical and emotional challenges of supporting family you may also benefit from joining our general Family and friends group where you will connect with others navigating the same challenges. This is a safe place to talk to others who may have a similar diagnosis, treatment experience, to ask questions and get support from family on the same journey.
If you'd like to connect in with a group click on the Green (Bold) link(s) I have created above. Once the group page opens click on the black banner that says [click to join] at the bottom, or the [Join] button under "Group tools."
You can then introduce yourself by putting up a ‘new post’ by clicking in the box near the top right with + New or + (Depending on the device you are using) and you are ready to go. You could copy and paste the text from this post into your new post.
Macmillan have many support services so do check out the Macmillan Support Line is open 8am-8pm (timings may differ across services) 7 days a week on 0808 808 00 00. These services provide cancer information, practical information, emotional support, benefits/financial guidance or just a listening ear.
We also have our Ask an Expert section but do allow a few working days for a reply.
Talking to people face to face can be very helpful so do check to see if you have any Local Macmillan Support in your area, do also check for a local Maggie's Centre as these folks are amazing and aim to give support to all the family.
Please do get back to me if you need further help.
((hugs))
Thanks for your kind and informative words Highlander. I will check out the links thank you. I appreciate the support people at this site are giving as I didn’t know where else to turn during these 
eartbreaking times. ️
