Hey all, I suppose this is a rant but also I would love any advice anyone could give and if I’m expecting too much.
My Aunt - 84 (like a second Mum to me) was diagnosed with breast cancer around mid august, it has spread on to her liver, spine and she has lesions on her ribs. She was admitted into hospital on 6th august as she was in excruciating pain, we were told we had to wait 7-10 days for the cancer specialists to have their weekly meeting to discuss her diagnosis and agree a plan. Fast forward a week (in this time they had doubled her pain meds almost daily) I asked the ward dr if they had heard anything, it turns out that they had had the meeting and her case wasn’t discussed. I kicked up abit of stink with this, by this time she was close to immobile. The next day an oncologist came, explained everything to us, she accepted it and agreed to radiotherapy and hormone treatment. They have said to me that she has 3 weeks to 3 months, I’m devasted by this and she is on so many pain killers now that she’s either asleep or very confused. On Monday she had radiotherapy and that evening they moved her on to a respiratory ward?! - this is the only place they had a bed free. Fast forward to 22nd aug. She is being relentlessly sick, she’s very depressed, in excruciating pain again, I feel like she should be on a ward that understands the after effects of treatment - last night she sat for 45 mins in her bed covered in sick because there was only one nurse. Today she waited 38mins (yes I timed it) for pain medication which she has been told by the oncologist she can request every hour, she is unable to get in and out of bed without it. Am I expecting too much asking for her to be moved to a more appropriate ward? I wouldn’t even know what ward she needs to go to? I feel so helpless, I just don’t know what to do. Today they were unable to take blood as she isn’t keeping enough down and her veins are too slippery. I asked about a drip and they ignored me, I hate confrontation, I know how hard these people work, I don’t want to complain. I’m feeling defeated, I’m watching the woman who has been such a rock to me, who has given me so much support and love and right now I feel I am failing her. I know this is lengthy, I would appreciate any support or advice. Thankyou x
Hi and welcome to the Online Community although I am sorry to hear about your aunts diagnosis and prognosis. A cancer diagnosis like this in the family can be such a stressful and challenging time but I do hope you will find the community a safe place to get support and ask your questions.
The Community is divided into support groups (discussion rooms) so can I suggest you consider joining our supportive Family and friends and Supporting someone with incurable cancer groups where you will connect with others navigating the same challenges.
If you'd like to connect in with a group click on the Green (Bold) link(s) I have created above. Once the group page opens click on the black banner that says [click to join] at the bottom, or the [Join] button under "Group tools."
You can then introduce yourself by putting up a ‘new post’ by clicking in the box near the top right with + New or + (Depending on the device you are using) and you are ready to go. You could copy and paste the text from this post into your new post.
Macmillan have many support services so do check out the Macmillan Support Line is open 8am-8pm (timings may differ across services) 7 days a week on 0808 808 00 00. These services provide cancer information, practical information, emotional support, benefits/financial guidance or just a listening ear.
We also have our Ask an Expert section but do allow a few working days for a reply.
Please do get back to me if you need further help.
((hugs))
