Hi, thank you for having me 
Me and my husband got a very close friend who is like a brother to us. In February he has been diagnosed with small cell stage 4 lung cancer which consequently spread to his brain, kidney and adrenal glans making this a terminal diagnosis. He has no family and we are the closest people he’s got. During the initial diagnosis and first set of chemo he shut himself away from the world and only allowed us to see him when he was at the rock bottom and couldn’t cope with seizures - this is when the brain tumours got discovered. Since then we were with him every step of the way through radiotherapy, countless appointments and tests. Currently he has started a next set of chemo and we are back to beginning with him shutting down, extreme fatigue, trying to do it on his own again. It breaks my heart and I find it extremely difficult to accept his decisions. Being a nurse myself it is in my DNA to be with ppl in need and him trying to go solo is totally breaking my heart. Is there any advice on how can I stop thinking like a nurse with all the knowledge behind me and just accept his choices? I don’t know what to do. Thank you
Hi and welcome to the Online Community although I am sorry to hear about your close friends diagnosis.
A cancer diagnosis like this can be such a stressful and challenging time but I do hope you will find the community a safe place to get support and ask your questions.
The Community is divided into support groups (discussion rooms) so can I suggest you consider joining our supportive Family and friends and Supporting someone with incurable cancer groups where you will connect with others navigating the same challenges supporting family and friends.
If you'd like to connect in with a group click on the Green (Bold) link(s) I have created above. Once the group page opens click on the black banner that says [click to join] at the bottom, or the [Join] button under "Group tools."
You can then introduce yourself by putting up a ‘new post’ by clicking in the box near the top right with + New or + (Depending on the device you are using) and you are ready to go. You could copy and paste the text from this post into your new post.
Macmillan have many support services so do check out the Macmillan Support Line is open 8am-8pm (timings may differ across services) 7 days a week on 0808 808 00 00. These services provide cancer information, practical information, emotional support, benefits/financial guidance or just a listening ear.
We also have our Ask an Expert section but do allow a few working days for a reply.
Talking to people face to face can be very helpful so do check to see if you have any Local Macmillan Support in your area, do also check for a local Maggie's Centre as these folks are amazing and aim to give support to all the family.
Please do get back to me if you need further help.
All the very best.
Hi Mike, thank you kindly for your advice. I just found the family and friends support link and will have a look through it.
