Please can someone offer any advice or information....
I'm new to this and I feel a bit of a fraud but your message struck a chord and felt maybe if I could be a little cheeky I could ask some questions and advice?
My partner is 38 and he believes he has bowel cancer. Please bear with me as I'm being 100% serious and finding it incredibly difficult to get my head round...
He started bleeding from his back passage when going to the toilet years ago maybe 6/7yrs. He at the time had a severe lower back issue and sciatica so underwent physio reluctantly. They never checked his blood or stool and ignored it as a side effect of the back pain. He went with there diagnosis. Several years on its progressed the bCk pain has been no issue for a number of years but the blood never stopped only now..
He finally broke down told me he thinks it's confirmed what he thought all along and he knows his body its cancer in his bowel or prostate He is now experiencing more bleeding constantly and sometimes in his underwear when not using the toilet. He is needing the toilet rather frequently and has also experienced a mucus to when going. He now has abdominal pain mostly left and sometimes in his balls. He even told me through tears it can be painful when he ejaculates. Sorry if this is too much info I just need help and to talk I feel I'm losing my mind.
He is a big man 17stone and drinks quite a bit more so now a brandy to be specific a few glasses a night but the measure are nearly half a glass each time with pepsi. Over the last 2months he's lost alot of weight but none on his tummy all in his shoulders chest and arms. He's got yellowy patches on his face that are not hugely obvious but are there. I believe he's yelling me his truth and I know he wouldn't lie about his symptoms as he just is not that person he's brutally honest in all aspects of life.
Does this sound like he may be on the right lines? I'm sorry to ask but I need information from someone going through it and I cannot begin to understand how you are all feel knowing the truth and what you are having to mentally and physically go through. Please tell me to go away if its too much as I do feel a fraud being here asking these questions when it's not in black and white and confirmed.
He won't get checked or diagnosed he believes that it's his body he knows what is wrong and he is in control not doctors or cancer. He doesn't want to know how long or far etc. So he is just going day to day. He doesn't want anyone to know we have a 12 year old son. So I have to pretend it is all good. Even when he's sleeping most of the day and completely lost interest in his job he gets up late afternoon does a few hours and is still tired.. he sleep most weekends until 2 3pm sometimes til 4. He said He is happy now to get it off his shoulders and tell me as he is glad to have someone to talk to and I may want to talk to someone that's not him but begged me no family or close to us. He won't go to get checked no matter what I've thrown everything at him but now I just have to swallow the bitterness and accept his decision and respect his choice if he does indeed have what he thinks and feels.
If I'm honest I know he isn't well but I struggle to believe his concept of what it is and how he is just gonna ride it out unseen undiagnosed.
I'm angry hurt and now paranoid he could collapse anytime. He has said he understands there could come a point where he may pass out through blood loss or because of the disease and he knows he can't hide it then as I will call paramedics and will then have to tell family. He is fine with that if it comes to it. But until then He believes not knowing when or how long ignorance is bliss. For me it's not confirmed!!!
Do you think he is right? Are his symptoms and beliefs warranted to knowing what it is.
I'm sorry if this message is hard to read, I know everyone here is going through this difficult time with an actual diagnosis. I can't begin to understand how you feel but I know talking and venting can be productive so I am happy to listen and talk to if anyone needs.
Thank you for taking the time to read this
Hi and welcome to the community although I am sorry to read your post.
The simple answer is that no one on this community will be able to give you any advise as to what is wrong with your partner..... it's just not possible.
He needs to go see a medical professional and let them do what they are there for......... many people say "I know my body"....... but these words mean absolutely nothing. I have a blood cancer....... this is an invisible cancer and like many other blood cancers these need to be investigated by a medical professional.
He just needs to man up and go get checked out not only for his wellbeing but also for yours.
It may help if you call the Macmillan Support Line is open 8am-8pm (timings may differ across services) 7 days a week on 0808 808 00 00 as this service provide cancer information, practical information, emotional support or just a listening ear.
We also have our Ask an Expert section but do allow a few working days for a reply.
((hugs))
Hi again, let’s see if anyone else picks up on your post.
You are in a difficult situation as the more you push the subject the more he will probably dig his heals in just making things even worse with Confidentiality being the problem as you can’t talk with his GP.
As I said do call our support line and have a chat with our support team ((hugs))
