Hi I'm new to the community and feel a bit nervous about posting so please bare with me.
My mum has bladder cancer and at the age of 84 is no longer receiving any treatment, it was a decision made after a lot of thought and conversations between mum, myself and her urologist.
Now for 84 mum knows exactly what she is doing and what she wants, she knows she is going to die and has prepared herself for that, she lives with my husband and I and I'm her carer, her wish is to die at home and she has a care plan in place.
I'm well supported by our GP and the most wonderful Macmillan nurse, but I'm scared, the last few days have seen mum in more pain so therefore taking extra Oramorph, her appetite is poor and she is low in herself, at present she is sleeping.
I'm trying to accept what is happening but my brain says 'no not computing it'
I'm really not sure how I'm meant to deal with this shit, I mean I'm terrified of losing my mum and best friend, I think if I ignore it then everything will be fine again!! Crazy right??
Can anybody give me any advice please, how have other's dealt with the same thing?
Thank for reading my ramblings x
Hi Lizzie SC and welcome to the Online Community although I am sorry to hear about your mum's diagnosis and prognosis.
A cancer diagnosis like this in the family can be such a stressful and challenging time but I do hope you will find the community a safe place to get support and ask your questions.
The Community is divided into support groups (discussion rooms) and when it comes to the practical and emotional challenges of supporting someone you may also benefit from joining our general Carers only group (that I see you have joined) and our Supporting someone with incurable cancer group where you will connect with others navigating the same challenges.
If you'd like to connect in with a group click on the Green (Bold) link(s) I have created above. Once the group page opens click on the black banner that says [click to join] at the bottom, or the [Join] button under "Group tools."
You can then introduce yourself by putting up a ‘new post’ by clicking in the box near the top right with + New or + (Depending on the device you are using) and you are ready to go. You could copy and paste the text from this post into your new post.
Macmillan have many support services so do check out the Macmillan Support Line is open 8am-8pm (timings may differ across services) 7 days a week on 0808 808 00 00. These services provide cancer information, practical information, emotional support, benefits/financial guidance or just a listening ear.
We also have our Ask an Expert section but do allow a few working days for a reply.
Talking to people face to face can be very helpful so do check to see if you have any Local Macmillan Support in your area, do also check for a local Maggie's Centre as these folks are amazing supporting all the family.
Give me a shout if you need further help.
All the very best.
