Good morning,
I am hoping for some advise please. My mum was diagnosed with lung cancer about 4 weeks ago(she doesn’t smoke) she is only 65. Unfortunately she was told the cancer had already spread with a large cyst behind her breast bone which means they cannot operate. She had a biopsy two weeks ago and it has spread to her lymph nodes. She had an mri last week which we are still waiting results from and has a brain scan booked in for the end of next week. She has been given two McMillan nurses who have been since her diagnosis…..my question is this all feels very slow. She has not discussed treatment yet. The MRI was delayed by two weeks because they said they had the wrong details for her. My mum is being very vague. She says she doesn’t want to push for appointments and she needs time to breath……I’m worried that the longer we let her leave things the less time she may have. We haven’t actually been given any outcomes of all of this. We don’t know what stage it is considered or the prognosis. Is this normal? It feels like a lot of time is passing? I am finding it so hard to be patient. I do understand that it is not about me but I feel that someone needs to be asking questions she doesn’t seem able to face. Thank you so much for taking time to read this.
Hi and welcome to the Online Community although I am sorry to hear about your mum's ongoing tests and diagnosis. This is such a stressful time for you all.
Is the time this is taking normal?...... what is normal at the moment? But the national guidelines are set at a maximum of 62 days between GP referral to treatment starting, but this is often not achieved.
Is someone going with her to appointments?...... this is important as she may not be taking things in or asking the searching questions. Sometimes it needs a family member to be their (your mum's) advocate and keep pushing the system. This obviously needs your mum's approval and her various medical professionals officially informed.
The Community is divided into support groups (discussion rooms) so can I suggest you consider joining our supportive Lung Cancer and Lymph nodes, secondary cancer groups. These are safe places to talk to others who may have a similar diagnosis, treatment experience, to ask questions and get support.
When it comes to the practical and emotional challenges of supporting someone you may also benefit from joining our general Family and friends group where you will connect with others navigating the same challenges.
If you'd like to connect in with a group click on the Green (Bold) link(s) I have created above. Once the group page opens click on the black banner that says [click to join] at the bottom, or the [Join] button under "Group tools."
You can then introduce yourself by putting up a ‘new post’ by clicking in the box near the top right with + New or + (Depending on the device you are using) and you are ready to go. You could copy and paste the text from this post into your new post.
Macmillan have many support services so do check out the Macmillan Support Line is open 8am-8pm (timings may differ across services) 7 days a week on 0808 808 00 00. These services provide cancer information, practical information, emotional support, benefits/financial guidance or just a listening ear.
We also have our Ask an Expert section but do allow a few working days for a reply.
Talking to people face to face can be very helpful so do check to see if you have any Local Macmillan Support in your area, do also check for a local Maggie's Centre as these folks are amazing supporting all the family.
Give me a shout if you need further help.
All the very best.
