Hi. Thanks for accepting me. I don't know how to deal with this, again. 32 years ago I lost mum, 3 months from initial consultation, diagnoses of aggressive breast cancer, which took her away, just after Christmas 1990. Now my best friend has discovered she has pancreatic cancer just within a month, , at first looked hopeful with a Whipple op, but when they opened her up they found the cancer had spread, so they didn't do the Whipple. They removed her gall bladder and took biopsies of everything. We hoped for chemo, but subsequently told this wouldn't be enough, and she is terminally ill. Depending on results of biopsies they may offer some palliative chemo, to give her more time, but she is weakening and coughing. She has a Macmillan nurse now. So as I understand this - we could be looking at 6 months or 3 months, how can a healthy 63 year old woman be swimming a few months ago, but now be dying? I don't know what to do or how to deal with this, I feel guilty for thinking of my mum's trauma. I wish I could have it instead of her. Help? Xx
Hi Carj60 and welcome to the Online Community although I am sorry to hear about your friends diagnosis and indeed about your mum.
A cancer diagnosis can be such a stressful and challenging time but I do hope you will find the community a safe place to get support and ask your questions.
The Community has various support groups (discussion rooms) and when it comes to the practical and emotional challenges of supporting someone on a journey like this you may benefit from joining our general Supporting someone with incurable cancer group where you will connect with others navigating the same challenges.
If you'd like to connect in with a group click on the Green (Bold) link(s) I have created above. Once the group page opens click on the black banner that says [click to join] at the bottom, or the [Join] button under "Group tools."
You can then introduce yourself by putting up a ‘new post’ by clicking in the box near the top right with + New or + (Depending on the device you are using) and you are ready to go. You could copy and paste the text from this post into your new post.
Macmillan have many support services so do check out the Macmillan Support Line is open 8am-8pm (timings may differ across services) 7 days a week on 0808 808 00 00. These services provide cancer information, practical information, emotional support or just a listening ear.
We also have our Ask an Expert section but do allow a few working days for a reply.
Talking to people face to face can be very helpful so do check to see if you have any Local Macmillan Support in your area, do also check for a local Maggie's Centre as these folks are amazing supporting all the family.
Give me a shout if you need further help.
Best regards.
