Hi just joined the community for support and constantly being told talking helps but it’s so hard!
Back in March my mum was diagnosed with Gaul bladder cancer. After scans we discovered it had spread to limphnode and was terminal! We’ve had other complications along the way due to colonic abscess and needing operations one of which has been a stoma.
She started chemo but only managed 2 sessions before being admitted back to hospital. She’s finally home and appointments all booked for a scan to see if she can restart chemo.
The truth is I’m petrified! We are aware that the cancer will have progressed during this time but what if it’s gone to far….what if chemo is no longer an option…. What if there’s nothing more we can do!
mat first her good days outweighed the bad more recently it’s the other way round and it’s so hard to see.
We have a lot of family and friend support as I am her main caregiver but sometimes I think it’s easier to talk to a stranger than someone who is emotionally attached to the situation but the thought of going to a support group makes me so anxious.
The range of emotions is so hard to handle! I am sad and angry all at the same time, then I feel guilty because how must she be feeling it’s not even me that’s going through it!
I’m starting to feel so helpless when she’s having bad days because sometimes there nothing I can do to help her!
Hi and welcome to the Online Community although I am sorry to hear about your mum’s diagnosis and prognosis. A cancer diagnosis like this in the family can be such a stressful and challenging time but I do hope you will find the community a safe place to get support and ask your questions.
The Community has various support groups (discussion rooms) and when it comes to the practical and emotional challenges of supporting someone you may benefit from posting our general Carers only group (I see you have joined) and our Supporting someone with incurable cancer group where you will connect with others in the same position
These groups are safe places to talk to others who are navigating the same pathway, to ask questions and get support.
If you'd like to connect in with a group click on the Green (Bold) link I have created above. Then once the group page opens click on the black banner that says [click to join] at the bottom, or the [Join] button under "Group tools."
You can then introduce yourself by putting up a ‘new post’ by clicking in the box near the top right with + New or + (Depending on the device you are using) and you are ready to go. You could copy and paste the text from this post into your new post.
Macmillan have many support services so do check out the Macmillan Support Line is open 8am-8pm (timings may differ across services) 7 days a week on 0808 808 00 00. These services provide cancer information, practical information, emotional support, benefits/financial guidance or just a listening ear. We also have our Ask an Expert section but do allow a few working days for a reply.
Talking to people face to face can be very helpful so do check to see if you have any Local Macmillan Support in your area, do also check for a local Maggie's Centre as these folks are amazing.
Give me a shout if you need further help.
Best regards.
