Our 45 year old daughter has recently been diagnosed with rectal cancer and will start a 3 month course of chemo next week. This will be followed by 5 weeks of chemo/radiotherapy, followed by a 2 month rest. They will eventually operate next January to remove her rectum and part of her colon. She is being incredibly brave but is naturally very scared about her survival chances especially as she has 2 teenage daughters. She went to the doctor at the first sign there was something wrong, ie passing a lot of blood on Easter Sunday but after many scans, x rays, a colonoscopy, and an MRI, she's been told that the cancer has already spread to 3 of her lymph nodes. We live 350 miles apart so although we've managed to spend a few weekends together and we're in contact regularly by phone, we're unable to just pop round for a chat. We are a very close family but we're finding it more and more difficult to know how to comfort her without upsetting her even more. She also seems to be slipping into depression. Would love to hear from anyone who's had a similar experience with a loved one. Thanks for taking the time to read this.
Hi Catzin and welcome to the Macmillan Online Community although I am so sorry to hear about your daughters diagnosis. A cancer diagnosis in the family can be such a stressful and challenging time but I do hope you will find the community a safe place to get support and ask your questions.
The Community has various support groups (discussion rooms) and I see that you have already joined our supportive Bowel (colon and rectum) cancer group. This would be a safe place to talk to others who may have a similar diagnosis, treatment experience, to ask questions and talk with others who are supporting family and friends on their treatment pathway.
If you'd like to connect in with a group click on the Green (Bold) link I have created above. Then once the group page opens you can then introduce yourself by putting up a ‘new post’ by clicking in the box near the top right with + New or + (Depending on the device you are using) and you are ready to go. You could copy and paste the text from this post into your new post.
When it comes to the practical and emotional challenges of supporting someone you may benefit from joining our general Family and friends group where you will connect with others in the same position.
Macmillan have many support platforms so do check out the Macmillan Support Line is open 8am-8pm (timings may differ across services) 7 days a week on 0808 808 00 00 or via Webchat and Email too.
These services are open to both your daughter and yourself and provide cancer information, practical information, emotional support, benefits/financial guidance or just a listening ear. We also have our Ask an Expert section but do allow a few working days for a reply.
Your daughter may find talking to people face to face to be very helpful so do check to see if you have any Local Macmillan Support in her area, do also check for a local Maggie's Centre as these folks are amazing and provide support for all the family.
Give me a shout if you need further help.
Best regards.
