My sister has terminal cancer, the secondaries are now in her brain so we are fast approaching end of life care. I'm tired of people asking "How are you?". I don't know how I am, I don't know what I'm going to feel in any given second. I hover between crippling fear and anxiety (like today) to I'm ok, I can help my sister through this. Right now I'm literally shaking from anxiety. I'm sat on the end of bed thinking I can't do, I want to run away. I want to anywhere but dealing with this today.
I'm waiting to get counselling from my GP, I have about another three weeks to go for that. I feel weird around my partner. I feel weird around my own kids. I feel weird talking to my mom because she's in denial about all of this. I never thought I would be the one to have to see a parent through the loss of their kids. It's not right, I expected my mom to go first and me and my sister get through it together.
The only place I feel ok is at work. I can just get on with my job and push it out of my brain. I keep having really vivid dreams so I'm waking up at all hours. I feel like I'm falling apart. I hope it's ok to say these things here. What I'm feeling is nothing to how my mom and sister must be feeling. I have no one else to share these feelings with.
Hi and a warm welcome to the Macmillan Online Community although I am so sorry to hear about your sisters diagnosis and prognosis. A cancer diagnosis in the family like this can be such a stressful and challenging time but I do hope you will find the community a safe place to get support and ask your questions.
The Community has various support groups (chat rooms) and when it comes to the practical and emotional challenges of supporting someone during a time like this you may benefit from joining our general Family and friends and Supporting someone with incurable cancer groups where you will connect with others supporting family and friends. This will be a safe place to talk to others who may be on the same journey, to ask questions and talk with others.
If you'd like to connect in with a group click on the Green (Bold) link I have created above. Then once the group page opens click on the black banner that says [click to join] at the bottom, or the [Join] button under "Group tools."
You can then introduce yourself by putting up a ‘new post’ by clicking in the box near the top right with + New or + (Depending on the device you are using) and you are ready to go.
You could copy and paste the text from this post into your new post and as always you can reply to existing ‘Discussions’ by click [reply].
Macmillan have many support platforms so do check out the Macmillan Support Line is open 8am-8pm (timings may differ across services) 7 days a week on 0808 808 00 00 or via Webchat and Email too.
These services provide practical information, emotional support or just a listening ear. We also have our Ask an Expert section but do allow a few working days for a reply.
Talking to people face to face can be very helpful so do check to see if you have any Local Macmillan Support in your area, do also check for a local Maggie's Centre as these folks are amazing and provide support for all the family.
Always around if you need further help in navigating the community.
All the very best.
