Hi all my dad has been diagnosed with lung cancer 10 days ago which has spread to his bones and lymph modes. We have been told he only has a few weeks left and at this stage the only intervention is pallative care and making sure he is pain free and comfortable. He is still at home and has refused to go to hospice. He is unaware how long he has left as these are his wishes and just wants everyone to carry on as normal with no fuss. This is easier said than done. As it has been a big shock and everyone devestated and in bits. It has been overwhelming for him with proffesionals coming out to assess him and he tires so easily but i understand it hss to be done and even find myself feeling confused and then thinking what happens now or i should have asked more questions. Obviously everyone wants to help and get involved in some way between us siblings but its already causing friction between us as we all have our own ideas of what we should do or be doing to support him. There is also mum she is in bits and needs support and the more shes hearing about how hes deteriorating as people are talking the more anxiious and upset shes becoming. Ive asked for mum not to be told every little detail and to just to tell her what she needs to know in small doses so she can adjust to things. This is another disagreement. I cant face fathers day tomorrow even though i know it will be his last. I dont want his day being ruined with tension and a bad atmosphere and im going to stay away. I just cant believe we are all bickering and not pulling together and i dont think ive got the energy for it as im in bits. Thank you for letting me get that of my chest and i apologise for sounding selfish
Hi and a very warm welcome to the online community which I hope you'll find is both an informative and supportive place to be.
I'm sorry to read that your dad has been diagnosed with lung cancer and you don't sound selfish at all. You just sound like someone who is trying to find their way through a very difficult and distressing time.
The online community is divided up into different support groups so I'm going to recommend that you join the supporting someone with incurable cancer group as this will give you the chance to discuss your emotions, as well as practical issues around palliative care, with others who have a loved one living with cancer.
To join just click on the link I've created and then join and post in the same way as you did here. You can also join in with existing conversations by clicking on 'reply'. To save you typing this all out again you could copy and paste it into your new post.
If you have any difficulty navigating the community just drop me a reply and I'll be pleased to help
x
"Never regret a day in your life, good days give you happiness, bad days give you experience"
