Hi everyone, I don't know where to start as there is so much going on and I just need support. I'll break it down bluntly.
I was married 22 years but my husband was abusing me and I finally got free and he was removed from the house, once he was out I found out my mother in law had brain cancer, she also abused me due to believing her son but she was kind to me for all them other years so I felt down to help her. For months I was the one visiting her on hospice and care home. That last week was hell and I don't think I'll ever recover, the nurse told me to go get a rest and that is when she passed. I didn't find out until the next day by my abuser abusing me yet again. I was barred from funeral and they put funeral flowers on my doorstep. I have been diagnosed severe c-ptsd and struggle. I have my children with me. I'm sure I tried my best with my mother in law considering I was traumatised by her son and her, it was almost special. I'd paint her nails and take funny selfies with her. My family didn't understand but I just felt I had to help her leave earth feeling loved and to go in peace. She passed away at Christmas. Since then my husband is abusing us all time, he wants us out the house. So I'm under huge stress, the house is all done up with every security you can think of to stop him getting in. Police and lawyers and social workers are involved and helping. 4 days ago my dad went to hospital with tummy pain and has been diagnosed with cancer in tummy lining and diaphragm and yesterday we was told he has weeks left. He is a good dad but there is very abusive behaviour there too and I'm so conflicted and feel like someone somewhere hates me. I'm worried about my mum and how she will be when he's gone. I'm here now cos night time are worse for me coping with the abuse but now this on top and I'm just breaking. If you read this far, thank you
Hi and a warm welcome to the Online Community although I am so sorry to hear about the challenges you have been dealing with and your dad’s diagnosis.
A cancer diagnosis like this in the family can be so stressful and challenging but I do hope you find the community a safe place to get support and ask your questions.
The New to Community area is our reception desk where we can signpost you to our various cancer support groups and other services.
When it comes to the practical and emotional challenges of supporting someone you may benefit from joining our general Carers only and Supporting someone with incurable cancer groups. These are safe place to talk to others who may be walking the same journey, to ask questions and connect with others supporting family and friends
If you'd like to connect in with a group click on the Green (Bold) link I have created above. Then once the group page opens click on the black banner that says [click to join] at the bottom, or the [Join] button under "Group tools."
You can then introduce yourself by putting up a ‘new post’ by clicking in the box near the top right with + New or + (Depending on the device you are using) and you are ready to go.
You could copy and paste the text from this post into your new post and as always you can reply to existing ‘Discussions’ by click [reply].
The Macmillan Support Line is open 8am-8pm (timings may differ across services) 7 days a week on 0808 808 00 00 or via Webchat and Email too. This service provides cancer information, practical information, emotional support, benefits/financial guidance or just a listening ear and our Cancer Nurse Team in our Ask an Expert section may be helpful but do allow a few working days for a reply.
Talking to people face to face can be very helpful so do check to see if you have any Local Macmillan Support in your area, do also check for a local Maggie's Centre as these folks are amazing and provide support for all the family.
Always around if you need further help in navigating the community.
Wishing you all the very best.
