Grieving before my husband dies

My wonderful husband has recently been diagnosed with very aggressive brain cancer. He is due to start treatment shortly, but it is just to buy him time. This is his third primary cancer in 5 years. 

I am obviously devastated. He is changing daily, and his communication is getting worse. I am worried about how I will look after him (emotionally and physically) but feel I am grieving too soon. 

how do I try to make the best of the good days, instead of mourning our lasts?

Our children have left home and I feel incredibly lonely, despite having amazing people checking up on me. I just can’t see how I will continue to put one foot in front of the other when he is gone. 

  • Hi  and a warm welcome to the Online Community although I am so sorry to hear about your husbands diagnosis.

    A cancer diagnosis like this in the family can be so stressful and challenging but I do hope you find the community a safe place to get support and ask your questions.

    The New to Community area I s like our reception desk where we can signpost you to our various cancer support groups and other services so can I recommend that you consider joining our supportive Brain tumours group. This will be a safe place to talk to others who may have a similar diagnosis, treatment experience, to ask questions and talk with others who are supporting family and friends on their journey.

    If you'd like to connect in with a group click on the Green (Bold) link I have created above. Then once the group page opens click on the black banner that says [click to join] at the bottom, or the [Join] button under "Group tools."

    You can then introduce yourself by putting up a ‘new post’ by clicking in the box near the top right with + New or + (Depending on the device you are using) and you are ready to go.

    When it comes to the practical and emotional challenges of supporting someone you may benefit from joining our general Carers only and Supporting someone with incurable cancer groups where you will connect with others supporting family and friends

    The Macmillan Support Line is open 8am-8pm (timings may differ across services) 7 days a week on 0808 808 00 00 or via Webchat and Email too. This service provides cancer information, practical information, emotional support, benefits/financial guidance or just a listening ear and our Cancer Nurse Team in our Ask an Expert section helpful but do allow a few working days for a reply.

    Talking to people face to face when on a cancer journey (patient or family) can be very helpful so do check to see if you have any Local Macmillan Support in your area.

    Do also check out for a local Maggie's Centre in your area as these folks are amazing and provide support for all the family.

    Always around if you need further help in navigating the community.

    Wishing you all the very best ((hugs))

    Mike - Thehighlander

    It always seems impossible until its done - Nelson Mandela

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