This is too Hard

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My mum was diagnosed with SCLC in October of last year and we have been really lucky to have her with us this long I know but I am finding it really hard just now.  I have moved in with her during the week while my husband looks after the children and I don't feel like I do much.  I'm just there, drawing up her morphine making dinners etc.

SHe is tired all the time and in lots of pain, the cancer has spread everywhere now we think (she is palliative) and my children went back home last night after a weekend down here and I am scared this will be the last time they see her moderately well.  She is the strongest and bravest woman I have ever known and lost my dad when he was 47.  SHe has coped with so much and worked so hard for us that I dont know what to do when I lose her and I cant tell her all this (SHe will just get too upset and cry)> 

I feel like I need some therapy but have no idea whwere to go

  • Hi  and a warm welcome to the Online Community although I am so sorry to hear about your mum's diagnosis. A cancer diagnosis like this in the family can be so stressful and challenging but I do hope you find the community a safe place to get support and ask your questions.

    The New to Community is like our reception desk where we can signpost you to our various cancer support groups and other services so can I recommend that you consider joining our supportive Lung Cancer group. This will be a safe place to talk to others who may have a similar diagnosis, treatment experience, to ask questions and talk with others who are supporting family and friends on their journey.

    If you'd like to connect in with a group click on the Green (Bold) link I have created above. Then once the group page opens click on the black banner that says [click to join] at the bottom, or the [Join] button under "Group tools."

    You can then introduce yourself by putting up a ‘new post’ by clicking in the box near the top right with + New or + (Depending on the device you are using) and you are ready to go.

    You could copy and paste the text from this post into your new post and as always you can reply to existing ‘Discussions’ by click [reply].

    When it comes to the practical and emotional challenges of supporting someone you may benefit from joining our general Carers only and Supporting someone with incurable cancer groups where you will connect with others supporting family and friends

    The Macmillan Support Line is open 8am-8pm (timings may differ across services) 7 days a week on 0808 808 00 00 or via Webchat and Email too. This service provides cancer information, practical information, emotional support, benefits/financial guidance or just a listening ear and our Cancer Nurse Team in our Ask an Expert section helpful but do allow a few working days for a reply.

    You may find actually 'talking' to people face to face when on a cancer journey can be very helpful so do check to see if you have any Local Macmillan Support in your area.

    Do also check out for a local Maggie's Centre in your area as these folks are amazing and provide support for all the family.

    Always around if you need further help in navigating the community.

    All the very best.

    Mike (Thehighlander)

    It always seems impossible until its done - Nelson Mandela

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