My husband (46) had a successful operation to remove a tumour in his testicle last year, but his latest regular MRT and CT scans last week showed that it has metastasised to a lymph node by his kidney. The hospital will confirm tomorrow his next steps wIth chemo.
In the last couple of months my elderly dad, who has leukaemia and an assortment of related issues, nearly died of covid; my mum was admitted to a&e whilst he was in hospital and is having a serious thyroid issue investigated; and I‘ve just been diagnosed with bipolar disorder and adhd, so have serious struggles with my mental health at the best of times. Our two young children both have selective mutism, so not only am I terrified about what’s going to happen to my husband, but I’m deeply concerned about how this is going to affect our kids. We also live abroad in my husband‘s native country, which is veery much my home now, but though I do speak the local language, all the new medical terminology is overwhelming, and I feel really very alone and without any kind of a support system. (His parents live close by but are elderly, and his mother is dementing.) I‘ve got a couple of swollen lymph nodes of my own thanks to a recent eye infection and am in quite a bit of pain and I’m frustrated to be wasting my time trying to sort that out when I want to focus on supporting my husband and preparing to support our kids. And I’m so scared of what the future holds. It’s all a bit much.
Hi PinkOleander and a warm welcome to the Online Community although I am so sorry to read about your husbands diagnosis and combining this with the other challenges you have with both your health and your wider family just makes this journey hard to navigate.
A cancer diagnosis in the family can be such a stressful and challenging time but I do hope you find the community a safe place to get support and ask your questions.
The New to Community is like our reception desk where we can signpost you to our various cancer support groups and other services.
In the first instance can I recommend that you consider joining our supportive Testicular cancer and Lymph nodes, secondary cancer groups. These are safe places to talk to others who may have a similar diagnosis, treatment experience, to ask questions and talk with others who are supporting family and friends on their journey.
If you'd like to connect in with a group click on the Green (Bold) link I have created above. Then once the group page opens click on the black banner that says [click to join] at the bottom, or the [Join] button under "Group tools."
You can then introduce yourself by putting up a ‘new post’ by clicking in the box near the top right with + New or + (Depending on the device you are using) and you are ready to go.
You could copy and paste the text from this post into your new post and as always you can reply to existing ‘Discussions’ by click [reply].
When it comes to the practical and emotional challenges of supporting someone you may benefit from joining our general Family and friends and Carers only groups where you will connect with others supporting family and friends
The Macmillan Support Line is open 8am-8pm (timings may differ across services) 7 days a week on 0808 808 00 00 or via Webchat and Email too. This service provides cancer information, practical information, emotional support, benefits/financial guidance or just a listening ear and our Cancer Nurse Team in our Ask an Expert section helpful but do allow a few working days for a reply.
Talking to people face to face when on a cancer journey (patient or family) can be very helpful so do check to see if you have any Local Macmillan Support in your area.
Do also check out for a local Maggie's Centre in your area as these folks are amazing and provide support for all the family.
Always around if you need further help in navigating the community.
All the very best ((hugs))
