Hello,
I am new to all this and finding parts overwhelming. Some days I manage ok emotionally, others I cannot believe this is happening to us and get overwhelmed.
My wonderful caring Husband is only 57 and I am only 53. He started to be unwell in December, had so many tests and a two week stay in hospital as had lost over 2 stone very quickly and was really deteriorating. Cancer was mentioned as a possibility.
Initially they said it was probably Cancer of the Unknown Primary. Lots and lots more tests then we were asked to go to a face-to-face consultation on April 7th. We were told it is possibly cancer of the appendix (1 in a million!!) but still not certain as also bowel concerns too.
Devastatingly it had already spread to his abdomen wall (he has lots of ascites) and the prognosis given of only 3-6 months!!! He is having chemo to ease symptoms hopefully and possibly ‘buy’ more time.
I still can’t really believe this can all be real, I look at him and know it is but my head and heart want it not to be. We have been together 18 years only and he is my knight in shining armour that picked me up when I was a single parent with 3 children after a marriage with domestic violence involved.
i would like to be able to talk to anyone else in a similar position and ask for any advice on how to cope. I adore him and it’s horrible to see what this cruel illness is doing to him and the emotional impact it is having on our 4 young adult children. We made a blended family when we met and he is a wonderful devoted Husband and Dad.
Hi and a warm welcome to the Online Community although I am so sorry to hear about your husband's diagnosis.
A cancer diagnosis like this in the family can be such a stressful and challenging time but I do hope you find the community a safe place to get support and ask your questions. When it comes to the practical and emotional challenges of supporting someone you may benefit from posting in our general Carers only group that I see you have joined and also our Supporting someone with incurable cancer group.
These are safe places to talk to others who are on the same support journey, to ask questions and talk with others who are supporting family and friends on their journey.
If you'd like to connect in with a group click on the Green (Bold) link I have created above. Then once the group page opens click on the black banner that says [click to join] at the bottom, or the [Join] button under "Group tools."
You can then introduce yourself by putting up a ‘new post’ by clicking in the box near the top right with + New or + (Depending on the device you are using) and you are ready to go.
You could copy and paste the text from this post into your new post and as always you can reply to existing ‘Discussions’ by click [reply].
The Macmillan Support Line is open 8am-8pm (timings may differ across services) 7 days a week on 0808 808 00 00 or via Webchat and Email too. This service provides cancer information, practical information, emotional support, benefits/financial guidance or just a listening ear and our Cancer Nurse Team in our Ask an Expert section helpful but do allow a few working days for a reply.
Talking to people face to face when on a cancer journey (patient or family) can be very helpful but during these strange times it’s not that available but do check to see if any Local Macmillan Support in your area has opened up. Do also check out for a local Maggie's Centre in your area as these folks are amazing and provide support for all the family.
Always around if you need further help in navigating the community.
All the very best.
Hi and a very warm welcome to the online community which I hope you'll find is both an informative and supportive place to be.
I'm really sorry to read about your husband's recent diagnosis and I can understand how devastated you must both be.
As you know, the online community is divided up into different support groups and I can see that you've already found and joined the carers only group which is a great place to discuss your worries and get support from others who have a loved one dealing with cancer. When you feel ready to post there clicking on the link will take you straight there.
You might also like to join the supporting someone with incurable cancer group which is for carers, friends and families of people with a terminal diagnosis to discuss their emotions, as well as practical issues.
If you'd like to join the group just click on the link I've created (green writing) and then join and start a new post in the same way as you did here. You can also join in with existing conversations by clicking on 'reply'.
When you have a minute it would be great if you could pop something about your husband's diagnosis and treatment into your profile as it really helps others when replying to you and also when looking for someone on a similar pathway. It also means that you don't have to keep repeating yourself. To do this click on your username and then select 'Profile'. You can amend it at any time and if you're not sure what to write you can take a look at mine by clicking on my username.
If you have any difficulty navigating the community just drop me a reply and I'll be pleased to help
x
"Never regret a day in your life, good days give you happiness, bad days give you experience"
