Hello All,
My lovely Mum is 92 and, although seemingly very well and independent until November, has had various health problems since then. After two TIAs, Pneumonia and Kidney infection in January she had been quite weak, but improving. She felt she was ready to stop visits by her carers. However she was rushed into hospital last Tuesday with chest and abdominal pain. On Thursday, having had a CT scan, we were told that she has a substantial tumour in her lung, evidence of cancer in lymph nodes around this, both at the same side that she had breast cancer 30 years ago. Also a possible tutor on her adrenal gland.
Due to my Mum's age and frailty she has been told they'd prefer not to biopsy her. She isn't a good candidate for surgery or chemo. I agree with them that a lung biopsy would be intrusive and understand that treatment options and outcomes for Mum would be changed very little by the knowledge gained. I understand diagnostic tests are expensive and resources better used for younger folk whose outcomes can more likely be changed or improved, but want the best of her.
So, without a biopsy it cannot be known whether this is a new primary cancer, or a secondary breast cancer. It seems this latter is likely as she has never smoked or worked in a risk environment. Without the knowledge of what particular cancer she has there can be no prognosis; no knowledge of the likely course or timeframe of changes we should expect to see.
I'd not want a biopsy to be inflicted on her unnecessarily, as I'd want to protect her from the additional discomfort. I also understand that the biopsy comes with risks attached. So I'm in agreement with the doctors, but feel the vagueness of the diagnosis and complete lack of prognosis is very difficult. If anyone has any suggestions for how to handle this I'd be really glad.
As a bit of background there was a similar situation for my father. In his case a cancer was also discovered at an advanced stage and this resulted in a stair lift being installed, only for him to be too ill to come downstairs only days later. The hospital bed that was provided for him at home arrived after he was admitted to the hospice for the last time. Both of these seemingly helpful steps were taken quickly. It's the difficulty to plan ahead that I'm struggling with. Not the practical things like equipment, but how and when to rally family. Which practical things to prioritise and which will seem to have been unimportant when Mum's health has played out. I know that it's unknowable right now.
Hi and a warm welcome to the Online Community although I am so sorry to hear about your mum's vague diagnosis.
An event like this in the family can be such a stressful and challenging time but I do hope you find the community a safe place to get support and ask your questions.
I actually have had a Lung Biopsy and it was one of the worst experiences in all my 23 years being treated for my rare blood cancer. I was 57 at the time and it did confirm that I had Asbestosis, although this had been stable for the past 10 years.
There is a very fine line between quality of life and putting undue stress on her frail body to find out what is going on and you have to look at the risks involved in doing this.
I can't give you any real first hand answers as I have not walked this path but I do see that you have joined our Carers only group. This would be a good place to take to others about the the practical and emotional challenges of supporting someone during these challenging times.
If you'd like to connect in with this group click on the Green (Bold) link I have created above. Then once the group page opens you can then introduce yourself by putting up a ‘new post’ by clicking in the box near the top right with + New or + (Depending on the device you are using) and you are ready to go.
You could copy and paste the text from this post into your new post and as always you can reply to existing ‘Discussions’ by click [reply].
The Macmillan Support Line is open 8am-8pm (timings may differ across services) 7 days a week on 0808 808 00 00 or via Webchat and Email too. This service provides cancer information, practical information, emotional support, benefits/financial guidance or just a listening ear and our Cancer Nurse Team in our Ask an Expert section helpful but do allow a few working days for a reply.
Talking to people face to face when on a cancer journey (patient or family) can be very helpful but during these strange times it’s not that available but do check to see if any Local Macmillan Support in your area has opened up. Do also check out for a local Maggie's Centre in your area as these folks are amazing and provide support for all the family.
Always around if you need further help in navigating the community.
All the very best.
Hi Linda, I have been on my cancer journey for 23 years now (hit my community name to see my long story) and I am over 6.5 years out from my last treatment, so yes I am seeing the benefits from my years of treatments but I have been left with post treatment 'left over' health issues but looking at the picture - I am doing well.
Sending you and your mum a supportive ((hug))
