Hi everyone. My mum recently got diagnosed with unknown primary cancer and she has just started chemotherapy. I have lupus myself and all the stress of looking after her plus worrying about her I’m finding it really hard to cope with on top of my own illness myself. The care is shared between myself and my brother and I feel guilty when I can’t look after her because my lupus has been aggravated because im constantly stressed out because I’m worried about my mum and me looking after her all throughout the night takes a toll on my condition. I’m just finding it really hard to deal with physically and emotionally. It’s really hard seeing my mum on 45mg of morphine a day just to ease her pain when she is someone who hasn’t got any existing medical conditions and is very active for someone in her early 70s. It’s really hard seeing her completely change not only her mobility but her personality as well from the drugs. I just feel really alone as my brother doesn’t understand my condition and I have to be really careful and look after myself because stress can really aggravate my lupus which I know I’m not doing and I feel burnt out, exhausted as it’s constant I just don’t know what to do anymore
Hi and a warm welcome to the Online Community although I am so sorry to hear about your mum’s diagnosis and the challenges dealing with your own health condition.
A cancer diagnosis in the family can be stressful and challenging in so many ways but I do hope you find the community a safe place to get support and ask your questions.
The New to Community is like our reception desk where we can signpost you to our various cancer support groups and other services.
I recommend that you consider joining our supportive Unknown primary cancer group. This will be a safe place to talk to others who may have a similar diagnosis, treatment experience, to ask questions, get support and talk with others who are supporting family and friends on their journey.
If you'd like to connect in with a group click on the Green link I have created above. Then once the page opens click on the black banner that says [click to join] at the bottom, or the [Join] button under "Group tools."
You can then introduce yourself by putting up a ‘new post’ by clicking in the box near the top right with + New or + (Depending on the device you are using) and you are ready to go.
You could copy and paste the text from this post into your new post and as always you can reply to existing ‘Discussions’ by click [reply].
When it comes to the practical and emotional challenges of supporting someone on their cancer journey you may benefit from joining our supportive Family and friends (I see you have joined) and our Carers only groups where you will connect with others supporting family and friends
The Macmillan Support Line is open 8am-8pm (timings may differ across services) 7 days a week on 0808 808 00 00 or via Webchat and Email too. This service provides cancer information, practical information, emotional support, benefits/financial guidance or just a listening ear.
You may also find our Cancer Nurse Team in our Ask an Expert section helpful but do allow a few working days for a reply.
Talking to people face to face when on a cancer journey (patient or family) can be very helpful but during these strange times it’s not that available but do check to see if any Local Macmillan Support in your area has opened up. Do also check out for a local Maggie's Centre in your area as these folks are amazing and provide support for all the family.
Always around if you need further help in navigating the community.
All the very best ((hugs))
Hi Eyvonne and a welcome to the Online Community but so sorry to hear about your diagnoses.
A cancer journey is such a stressful and challenging time but you have done the right thing in reaching out to a place where you can ask questions and getting support from others who are on the ‘exact’ same cancer and journey.
The Community is divided into support groups (discussion rooms) so can I recommend you join and post in our supportive Soft tissue sarcomas support group. This is a safe place to talk to others with a similar diagnosis, treatment experience, to ask questions and get support.
If you'd like to connect in with a group click on the Green (Bold) Group Link I have created above. Once the group page opens click on the black banner that says [click to join] at the bottom, or the [Join] button under "Group tools."
You can then introduce yourself by putting up a ‘new post’ by clicking in the box near the top right with + New or + (Depending on the device you are using) and you are ready to go. You could copy and paste the text from this post into your new post.
Do get back to me if you need further help.
