Was diagnosed yesterday with mouth cancer 2nd time last time was 14 years ago. I had biopsy 5 weeks ago and didn't tell anyone as I get them often. My dad was admitted to hospital and died on the 12th which was results day but I didn't go and choose to stay at my dads bedside. Funeral is this Friday and noone knows. I don't know what to say how to bring up the subject. One thing I am sure is not saying anything before the funeral is over its not about me it's about my dad and honouring him. But how do I tell people ???
Hi Joanie and a warm welcome to the Online Community although I am so sorry to hear about your diagnosis for the second time..
I am so sorry to hear about your dad's passing, my sincere condolences and I do understand why you did not say anything about your cancer returning before the funeral....... and I do admire why you did not want to take the focus away from your dad but once Friday is over you do need to say something about your cancer returning in the following weeks. I think your family would understand and be ever so willing to support you especially since you carried the load during the funeral.
There is never an easy way to Tell People this news, I know this well as I have relapsed multiple times over my 23 years journey but we worked on an open communication mindset.
The New to Community is like our reception desk where you can be signpost to our various cancer support groups and other services so can I recommend that you consider joining our supportive Head and neck cancer group. This will be a safe place to talk to others who may have a similar diagnosis, treatment experience, to ask questions and get support.
If you'd like to connect in with a group click on the Green link I have created above. Then once the page opens click on the black banner that says [click to join] at the bottom, or the [Join] button under "Group tools."
You can then introduce yourself by putting up a ‘new post’ by clicking in the box near the top right with + New or + (Depending on the device you are using) and you are ready to go.
You could copy and paste the text from this post into your new post and as always you can reply to existing ‘Discussions’ by click [reply].
The Macmillan Support Line is open 8am-8pm (timings may differ across services) 7 days a week on 0808 808 00 00 or via Webchat and Email too. This service provides cancer information, practical information, emotional support, benefits/financial guidance or just a listening ear.
You may also find our Cancer Nurse Team in our Ask an Expert section helpful but do allow a few working days for a reply.
Talking to people face to face when on a cancer journey (patient or family) can be very helpful but during these strange times it’s not that available but do check to see if any Local Macmillan Support in your area has opened up. Do also check out for a local Maggie's Centre in your area as these folks are amazing and provide support for all the family.
Always around if you need further help in navigating the community.
All the very best.
