Hey guys,
I'm new here and looking for some advice.
My partner was diagnosed with Bowel cancer 3 years ago. Through this journey we have gone through surgery 3 times and chemotherapy.
Late last year we got the devestating news that it had come back again for the 4th time, but this time had spread to the lungs and lymph nodes and was no longer curable and the only option is to treat it for "as long as possible"
Her first cycle of chemo was complete - Every 2 weeks for 6 cycles.
The good news is that the cancer had not spread and the chemo was working and had shrunk the cancer.
We are not into cycle two!
Obviously this has shattered our world and we are now living with this disease for the foreseeable. We have a 3 year old daughter too.
I'm finding it really difficult to come to terms with and know that the inevitable will happen. We have not asked for any time frames and do not wish to know.
My partner is also not in a great place, understandably. My problem is, I'm really struggling to help her :( her moods are all over the place. She spends most of the week in doors, avoids doing much because of the fatigue from chemo, the pain she's in. When we do manage to get out on a weekend we only get so far before her mood dips again and we're back in the cycle of sat in doors wallowing :(
I guess I don't know what I want from this post, but just something i wanted to get off my chest.
Hi DoOneC and a warm welcome to the Online Community although I am so sorry to hear about your partners diagnosis.
A cancer diagnosis in the family can be so stressful and challenging in many ways but I do hope you find the community a safe place to get support and ask your questions.
The New to Community is like our reception desk where you can be signpost to our various cancer support groups and other services so can I recommend that you consider joining our supportive Bowel (colon and rectum) cancer, Lung, secondary cancer and Lymph nodes, secondary cancer groups.
These will be safe places to talk to others who may have a similar diagnosis, treatment experience, to ask questions, get support and talk with others who are supporting family and friends on their journey.
If you'd like to connect in with a group click on the Green link I have created above. Then once the page opens click on the black banner that says [click to join] at the bottom, or the [Join] button under "Group tools."
You can then introduce yourself by putting up a ‘new post’ by clicking in the box near the top right with + New or + (Depending on the device you are using) and you are ready to go.
You could copy and paste the text from this post into your new post and as always you can reply to existing ‘Discussions’ by click [reply].
When it comes to the practical and emotional challenges of supporting someone on their cancer journey you may benefit from joining our supportive Carers only and Supporting someone with incurable cancer groups where you will connect with others supporting family and friends
The Macmillan Support Line is open 8am-8pm (timings may differ across services) 7 days a week on 0808 808 00 00 or via Webchat and Email too. This service provides cancer information, practical information, emotional support, benefits/financial guidance or just a listening ear.
You may also find our Cancer Nurse Team in our Ask an Expert section helpful but do allow a few working days for a reply.
Talking to people face to face when on a cancer journey (patient or family) can be very helpful but during these strange times it’s not that available but do check to see if any Local Macmillan Support in your area has opened up. Do also check out for a local Maggie's Centre in your area as these folks are amazing and provide support for all the family.
Always around if you need further help in navigating the community.
All the very best ((hugs))
Hi DoOneC and a very warm welcome to the online community which I hope you'll find is both an informative and supportive place to be.
I'm sorry to read that your partner's cancer has recurred and she's now classed as incurable but treatable. You'll find lots of people in the same position as you both within the community and I'm going to suggest a few groups for you to join.
Both the bowel cancer and secondary lung cancer groups are great places to ask questions and share experiences with others with the same type of cancer as your partner. Another group to join would be the carers only group which is a safe and supportive place to share your worries and to talk to others who have a loved one living with cancer.
To join any or all of these groups just click on the links I've created which will take you straight there. You can then join and start a new post in the same way as you did here and join in with existing conversations by clicking on 'reply'.
It would be great if you could pop something about your partner's diagnosis and treatment into your profile as it really helps others when replying to you and also when looking for someone on a similar pathway. It also means that you don't have to keep repeating yourself. To do this click on your username and then select 'Profile'. You can amend it at any time and if you're not sure what to write you can take a look at mine by clicking on my username.
If you have any difficulty navigating the community just drop me a reply and I'll be pleased to help
x
"Never regret a day in your life, good days give you happiness, bad days give you experience"
