Supporting my wife through her chemotherapy treatment.

2 replies
24 subscribers
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Hi,

with no symptoms, my wife changed GP’s and went for a series of blood tests in January of this year, further tests in February, endoscopy and a diagnosis of inoperable Stage 4 Colon cancer came in March. Next week, on her birthday, she starts Chemotherapy.

As much as I can I’m there for her, a shoulder to lean on, a joke when a smile is needed, an ear to be talked off when frustrated

there must be more I can do? I’m looking for some CBT therapy to give me some more tools to be able to talk through this, as well as supporting myself. Some practical help around the house, trying to deal with the insurance company, and trying to understand what therapies are most appropriate for her.

Thanks

Dom

latchbrook over 3 years ago

Hi Dominic and a very warm welcome to the online community which I hope you'll find is both an informative and supportive place to be.

As you know the community is divided up into different support groups and I can see that you've already joined the carers only group which is a great place to ask questions about how best to support your wife and how others are dealing with the issues you have around help around the house, etc.

When you feel ready to post in there just click on the link I've created which will take you straight there where you can start a new post in the same way as you did here and join in with existing conversations by clicking on 'reply'.

It would be great if you could pop something about your wife's diagnosis and treatment so far into your profile as it really helps others when replying to you and also when looking for someone on a similar pathway. It also means that you don't have to keep repeating yourself. To do this click on your username and then select 'Profile'. You can amend it at any time and if you're not sure what to write you can take a look at mine by clicking on my username.

If you have any difficulty navigating the community just drop me a reply and I'll be pleased to help.

"Never regret a day in your life, good days give you happiness, bad days give you experience"

FormerMember over 3 years ago

Hello Dom,

My thoughts are with you and your wife.

I've seen my wife fight off cancer once before incredibly and despite 2 cases of sepsis either side of the surgery. Sadly our experience was that each of these instances were avoidable. I felt I was on auto pilot when my wife was going through her first instance of endometrial cancer. Feeling I should be doing more. After my wife had completed her radio therapy and bracky therapy I struggled psychologically and emotionally with the whole experience. I managed to get referral for counseling and EMDR. This was extremely helpful. Not just for me but for me to be more supportive for my wife this time since discovering her endometrial cancer has returned.

I have learnt that it's ok to express how you feel. It's ok to feel anger, lack of trust and many things you might consider to be negative. Bottling feelings up isn't helpful but equally you are understandably mindful of not wanting to create additional stress or upset for your wife, so obviously how you channel those emotions is important.

It's lovely if you can take pleasure from the small things you might otherwise overlook. Enjoying the here and now. I read to my wife. I find it a great distraction and it's something you can enjoy together. Might not be for everyone of course but worth a try.

In closing all I would add is don't underestimate the power of simply being there to love and support. I'm sure your wife will appreciate that greatly.

Best regards J.