Hi, I’m not new to cancer just new to the site.
four years ago my wife walked out after 27 years together and left me with our youngest three children, I tried to stay strong for the kids and carry on but knew I was suffering from depression stress and anxiety and had pains in my arm, ten months later she took the two youngest out of school and away from me, that was really the icing on the cake for me and worsened how I was feeling and pain then spread to my chest, I went to court to get my kids home but by the time we got there I was in so much pain I was not sleeping, court was put off for three months and I finally went to the doctors and on New Year’s Eve was sent for a scan and diagnosis with a pan coast Tumour and given six months, in court because of my diagnosis the ex was awarded the children and I was not to see then while having treatment and that broke my heart.
My diagnosis was three years ago now and I’ve reacted well to treatment and stable at the moment and I saw my doctor last month and all is fine, the first year I did some things I’d wanted to do, then two years ago I meet someone else and have been really happy and looking forward to life and the future, over the last few months I’ve had some stress, problems with one of my children not going to school and me being threatened with a fine for this despite the fact I only see them for tea two evenings a week and have them every other weekend, I’ve also been stressing over money and weather or not my pip will be renewed but I’ve been trying to control this stress as stress starts aches and pains off in my shoulder,
then today out of the blue I was dumped, all that stress and anxiety and the feeling of being alone with no one to turn to and rely on from the wife leave has all come flooding back like Thor’s hammer, as I sit here writing this my arm is shacking again and I’m in pain like I was before being diagnosed, I know I can call my nurse anytime and ask for another scan if I feel it’s something to worry about but at the moment I feel it’s all to do with the situation and the shock I’ve had today been happier in the last two years than I have for a long time and now that’s all been taken from me again,
The thought of being alone again and unhappy while trying to stay relaxed and stress free for my own health is unbearable at the moment and that’s not me I’m normally happy stress free and extremely positive about my health and condition I live with.
did not mean to go on and on was intending on my first post to be a up beat positive one but had to open up and tell someone how I’m feeling at the moment what is it they say a problem shared is a problem halved.
Hi and welcome to the Online Community although I am so sorry to hear about the journey you have e been on but I do hope you find the community a safe place to get support and ask your questions.
The New to Community area is like our community reception desk where we then can signpost you to our various cancer specific support groups and other services.
You don’t say what type of cancer you have but if you care to have a look through this list you will find all our many dedicated cancer support groups listed. This second list is for our Cancer experience groups where folks can support each other around various cancer life focuses.
If you'd like to connect in with any groups click on the Green links I have created above. Then once you find a group you want to join click on the black banner that says [click to join] at the bottom, or the [Join] button under "Group tools." when the group page opens.
You can then introduce yourself by putting up a ‘new post’ by clicking in the box near the top right with + New or + (Depending on the device you are using). You will then see a dropdown menu so hit ‘Chat’ or ‘New here, say hello’ and you are ready to go.
You could copy and paste the text from this your first post. You can also search through existing ‘Discussions’ and click [reply] if you want to put up a comment.
The Macmillan Support Line is open 8am-8pm (timings may differ across services) 7 days a week on 0808 808 00 00 or via Webchat and Email too. This service provides cancer information, practical information, emotional support, benefits/financial guidance or just a listening ear. You may also find our Ask an Expert section helpful but do allow a few working days for a reply.
We also have our Telephone Buddy Service where you can be matched with someone who understands what you're going through, and they'll give you a weekly call.
Talking to people face to face can be very helpful but during these strange times it’s not that available but do check to see if any Local Macmillan Support in your area has opened up. Do also check out for a local Maggie's Centre in your area as these folks are amazing.
Always around if you need further help in navigating the community.
All the very best.
