Just wanted to say hi and confirm that this cancer journey is my husband (initial diagnosis just before Christmas, chemo & radiotherapy start today), not me, but I’m finding I’m struggling to cope keeping all the balls in the air (dealing with the fallout from my husbands diagnosis, treatment appointments, maintaining normality for our daughter, working full time). I’ve always considered myself to be mentally strong and resilient but this has knocked me for six.
Doesn’t help that I feel my husband is excluding me (not maliciously but still) and I feel discarded in preference of his mother, who seems to be pushing in to his treatment and insisting she go along, when he’s told me previously he wanted to go alone.
For the first time ever I’ve had to tell my boss this morning that I wasn’t coping well and take the rest of the day off sick. Tears start without warning but are somehow worse when my daughter is at school probably because I know I can let it go a little, and she’s not around to see and question.
Didn’t know about these forums, only found them today when looking for support, so I’m hopeful I can get the support I need to remain strong for my husband.
Hi and a very warm welcome to the Online Community although I am so sorry to hear about your husbands cancer diagnosis and the challenges you are facing. This is such a challenging and stressful time for all the family but I do hope you find the community a safe place to get support and ask your questions.
The New to Community is like our reception desk where we can signpost you to our various cancer specific support groups and other services.
You don’t say what type of cancer he has but if you care to have a look through this list you will find our many dedicated cancer support groups listed. These groups are safe places to talk to others who may have a similar diagnosis, treatment experience, to ask questions, get support and talk with others who are supporting family and friends on their journey.
If you'd like to connect in with a group, you do need to join the group. Click on the Green link I have created above and search for the group for your husbands cancer type. Then once the group page opens click on the black banner that says [click to join] at the bottom, or the [Join] button under "Group tools."
You can then introduce yourself by putting up a ‘new post’ by clicking in the box near the top right with + New (Computers) or + (Mobile Devices). You will then see a dropdown menu so hit ‘Chat’ or ‘Start a Discussion in New here, say hello’ and you are ready to go.
You could copy and paste the text from this your first post. You can also search through existing ‘Discussions’ and click [reply] if you want to put up a comment.
When it comes to the practical challenges of supporting someone on their cancer journey you may benefit from joining our supportive Carers only group where you will connect with others supporting family and friends
The Macmillan Support Line is open 8am-8pm (timings may differ across services) 7 days a week on 0808 808 00 00 or via Webchat and Email too. This service provides cancer information, emotional support, benefits/financial guidance or just a listening ear. You may also find our Ask an Expert section helpful but do allow a few working days for a reply.
To find information covering diagnosis, treatments and pages covering most types of cancers check our Online Information and Support Section.
Talking to people face to face can help a lot but during these strange times it’s not that available but do check to see if any Local Macmillan Support in your area has opened up. Do also check out for a local Maggie's Centre in your area as these folks are amazing.
Always around if you need further help in navigating the community.
All the very best ((hugs))
