My husband was diagnosed 2 years ago and has undergone many operations and treatment and nothing seems to be working. We have a young family and I am at my wit's end. He's constantly in pain, I am trying to protect the kids from seeing too much, working and caring for him. I just feel so useless because nothing I do is making a difference. He spent the lead up to Christmas in hospital with an infection. The kids hate how poorly he is as he is no longer mobile and they are both refusing counseling despite not coping with what they are seeing. My 11 year old often asks questions but hasn't come to terms with the diagnosis of terminal. I am only just holding it together. I just feel useless.
Hi YT3 and welcome to the Online Community although I am so sorry to hear about your husbands diagnosis and prognosis, this is such a hard time for you and all the family but I do hope you will find lots of support and comfort here on the Online Community.
You may find some of these Macmillan resources helpful on understanding childrens' reactions and also talking to children when an adult has cancer. You can also download, or order a paper copy, of this booklet.
The New to Community is like our reception desk where we can signpost you to our various support groups and services and when it comes to the specific practical challenges of supporting family on a cancer journey like this you may benefit from joining our supportive Carers only and Supporting someone with incurable cancer groups where you will connect with others supporting family and friends
If you'd like to connect in with a group, you need to join the group. First click on the Green link I have created above. Then once the page opens click on the black banner that says [click to join] at the bottom, or the [Join] button under "Group tools."
You can then introduce yourself by putting up a ‘new post’ by clicking in the box near the top right with + New (Computers) or + (Mobile Devices). You will then see a dropdown menu so hit ‘Start a Discussion in New here, say hello’ and you are ready to go.
You could copy and paste the text from this your first post. You can also search through existing ‘Discussions’ and click [reply] if you want to put up a comment.
The Macmillan Support Line is open 8am-8pm (timings may differ across services) 7 days a week on 0808 808 00 00 or via web chat. This service provides cancer information, emotional support, benefits and financial guidance or just a listening ear.
Talking to people face to face can indeed help a lot but during these strange times it’s not that available but do check to see if you have any Local Macmillan Support in your area has opened up. Do also check out for a local Maggie's Centre in your area.
Always around if you need further help in navigating the community.
All the very best ((hugs))
