Hi all. I’m a wife of 21 years & mother of teenagers who’s husband went to Dubai with a business schedule in November and came back with a diagnosis of a DVT which morphed into terminal cancer in December….??? He has stage 4 oesophageal adenocarcinoma, non operable and non curable, and has just started chemo a week ago. Talk about your world shifting sideways! No symptoms at all and then within weeks, morphine, liver pain, hot sweats and weight loss. Really surreal. I guess I’m reaching out to see who’s out there as I’m not finding a lot online about youngish men (in their 50’s) with this type of cancer. I also feel that information is being held back from him and therefore from me. I read the statistics in terms of survival with treatment, but I also read the people in front of us and wonder if he’s got less time than they’re willing to say. He’s naturally terrified but to the point where it’s taken me the whole week since chemo started to convince him that he can eat small amounts of food (he’s 2m tall, so a big guy!), but his anxiety is So bad that he can’t cope with even getting dressed atm. Any advice gratefully received. Kids are fully aware and I’ve had my own brush with the big C in 2019, so I’m realistic about it, but feel knowledge is power in these situations. Thank you.
Hi and welcome to the Online Community although I am so sorry to hear about your husbands diagnosis, this indeed is such a shock and such a hard time for you all but I do hope you will find lots of support and comfort here on the Online Community.
The New to Community is like our reception desk where we can signpost you to our various support groups and services so can I recommend you join our Gullet (oesophagus) cancerrain tumour group. This will be a safe place to talk to others who may have a similar diagnosis, treatment experience or are supporting someone on their cancer journey.
If you'd like to connect in with a group, you need to join the group. First click on the Green link I have created above. Then once the page opens click on the black banner that says [click to join] at the bottom, or the [Join] button under "Group tools."
You can then introduce yourself by putting up a ‘new post’ by clicking in the box near the top right with + New (Computers) or + (Mobile Devices). You will then see a dropdown menu so hit ‘Start a Discussion in New here, say hello’ and you are ready to go.
You could copy and paste the text from this your first post. You can also search through existing ‘Discussions’ and click [reply] if you want to put up a comment.
When it comes to the specific practical challenges of supporting someone on their cancer journey you may benefit from joining our supportive Carers only and Supporting someone with incurable cancer groups where you will connect with others supporting family and friends
The Macmillan Support Line is open 8am-8pm (timings may differ across services) 7 days a week on 0808 808 00 00 or via web chat. This service provides cancer information, emotional support, benefits and financial guidance or just a listening ear.
To find information covering diagnosis, treatments and pages covering most types of cancers check our Online Information and Support Section.
Talking to people face to face can indeed help a lot but during these strange times it’s not that available but do check to see if you have any Local Macmillan Support in your area has opened up. Do also check out for a local Maggie's Centre in your area.
Always around if you need further help in navigating the community.
All the very best ((hugs))
