Hey,
(Totally new to this, this is my first comment but I am reaching out for some help)
As a cancer sufferer myself, I have been in remission for 5 years with stage 1 Melanoma, and cleared on 7th December 2021. I also lost my dad to lung cancer on 31st October 2016
My sister-in-law hasn't been so lucky. At only 49 she was diagnosed with cancer of the Oesophagus in May this year. First round of chemo went well, and the cancer had shrunk in places.
Second round didn't work at all. She was told there were no other options for her as it had spread to her spine.
We have since been told she has only 2 weeks left to live (Christmas & New Year) and we are all absolutely devastated. I have cried every night, cant sleep and just feel there is a huge dark cloud hanging over my head, so goodness knows how my sister- in-law & brother are feeling right now.
Being the strong person she is, my sister-in-law has been arranging her own funeral whilst in hospital, arranging Christmas gifts for everyone and giving my brother instructions for when she is gone. This is the part I am really struggling to cope with. How does anyone find that strength?
She messaged me asking if I would accept some of her personal belongings, and I just broke down again. I'm worried about how my brother will cope without her, as they they have no kids.
They travelled the world together, and there wasn't a country they didn't visit. They literally done everything together. How do I reach out to my brother and offer such support?
I have never hurt like this before. My dad passed at 76 god love him, so he had a decent life. I go to bed at night and just think what on earth must she be thinking right now. This is the part I think need help with as I am struggling to cope with it.
My biggest fear in life is dying, it scares me so much, so maybe this is why I cant seem to be able to cope with the fact I am about to lose my sister-in-law. I also look at pictures of my dad and I, and 5 years on, I cant look at them as happy memories, as it still hurts too much.
Will this dark cloud ever start to fade?
xx
If anyone has any advice on how to get through this, or just offer any support i would be forever grateful.
Hi and welcome although I see you have posted on the Community before. I am so sorry to read about the journey your family are on and about your Sister-in-law, this is such a hard time for all the family but I do hope you will find lots of comfort and support here on the Online Community.
When it comes to the specific practical challenges of supporting someone on a cancer journey like this you may benefit from joining our supportive Supporting someone with incurable cancer group where you will connect with others supporting family and friends
If you'd like to connect in with a group, you need to join the group. First click on the Green link I have created above. Then once the page opens click on the black banner that says [click to join] at the bottom, or the [Join] button under "Group tools."
You can then introduce yourself by putting up a ‘new post’ by clicking in the box near the top right with + New (Computers) or + (Mobile Devices). You will then see a dropdown menu so hit ‘Start a Discussion in New here, say hello’ and you are ready to go.
You could copy and paste the text from this your first post. You can also search through existing ‘Discussions’ and click [reply] if you want to put up a comment.
The Macmillan Support Line is open 8am-8pm (timings may differ across services) 7 days a week on 0808 808 00 00 or via web chat. This service provides cancer information, emotional support, benefits and financial guidance or just a listening ear.
Always around if you need further help in navigating the community.
All the very best ((hugs))
