Hi guys,
My first every post. My Dad is a very heavy smoker and lives with his partner who is 85 years old. He is happy for me to take him to hospitals appointments, but now he has gone down hill he will not accept help from his GP, Palliative care team etc. So his partner and I are just expected to do what we can whilst watching him in pain. He also refused to give permission for the medical teams to speak with us about his condition, we only found out by default, and he later broke down and told me it was terminal but still no permission was given. He is now wearing incontinence pants and sometimes soiling their bed and cannot wash himself, so his partner is trying to help where possible, but she is both mentally and physically exhausted. I am running about for shopping, prescription etc, but he really needs to be in the care of the medical profession, but he is very stubborn and refuses his GP to even come into the house. The result is this evening, I have decided to call hm tomorrow to advise that I cannot watch his suffer any longer and if he refuses medical care and help either at home or in a hospital, hospice setting then as much as I love him, I can continue to visit him as it is too difficult to watch. I have a 12-year-old daughter that needs her Mum and holding down a very demanding job, all of this naturally has been pushed to one side as I support my Dad. How would you guys approach it?
Hi and a warm welcome to the online community
I'm sorry to read how poorly your dad is and the strain that it's putting on the whole family.
As the online community is divided up into different support groups I'm going to recommend that you join the supporting someone with incurable cancer group which is a safe and supportive place to share your worries and to ask others how they have coped.
To join just click on the link I've created and then choose 'click to join' or 'join' (depending on the device you're using) on the page that opens. You can then introduce yourself and post in the same way as you did here and join in with existing conversations by clicking on 'reply'. To save you typing this all out again you could just copy and paste it into your new post.
It would be great if you could pop something about your dad's diagnosis and treatment so far into your profile as it really helps others when replying to you and also when looking for someone on a similar pathway. It also means that you don't have to keep repeating yourself. To do this click on your username and then select 'Profile'. You can amend it at any time and if you're not sure what to write you can take a look at mine by clicking on my username.
If you have any difficulty navigating the community just drop me a reply and I'll be pleased to help
x
"Never regret a day in your life, good days give you happiness, bad days give you experience"
