My dad is as proud and as stubborn as me which is probably why I find myself taking to this support group to express my hopelessness.
I’m part of a big family. My dad and myself were always outsiders never joining drama or discussing feelings - we have each other for that and no one else in the past needed in on our private group.
My dad (not one to complain) had been having severe back and neck pain due to covid and lack of urgency to cause a scene has been suffering for approx 6months after going for MRI was taken straight into A&E shortly after was given radiotherapy for the cancer they found in his spine that had been pushing into his spinal chord. Doctors were amazed he was able to still walk - but that’s my dad.
he’s about to go for his follow up on Wednesday. Family have surrounded him and to them he’s fine. His pain is getting worse by the day he won’t even look at me because I know he knows I know. You see he’s trying his best to get through to my sisters wedding on 23rd where he is giving her away. So right now it’s a stand off of not talking about it.
He can’t eat without choking. The pain is getting worse. The meds aren’t working. He’s zoning out with the pain. I can see his anxiety and almost anger at himself.
Hoping this meeting on Wednesday will Put an end to his anxiety but also very aware that they may be delivering bad news but in a weird way I feel even that will bring him some sort of peace.
So I suppose I’m just here to put this down to somehow formalise my feelings and not put it on the shoulders of my sister and mum who I wish I could shield from everything.
Thanks and sorry for everyone on here going through similar situations sending lots of love and well wishes x
Hi and a warm welcome to the Online Community although I am so so sorry to hear about your dad’s diagnosis and the challenges he is facing. This is such a hard time for you and indeed all the family but I do hope you will find lots of comfort and support from people who understand here on the Online Community.
You may find talking with others who are walking a similar path can help lighten the load.
The New to Community area is like our reception where we can signpost folks on to our many dedicated support groups, but I see you have already joined our Bone cancer group - well done. This group is a safe place to talk to other people who might have a similar diagnosis, treatment experience or are supporting someone on their cancer journey.
If you'd like to connect in with this group click on the Green link I have created above. Then you can introduce yourself by putting up a new post by clicking in the box near the top right with + New (Computers) or + (Mobile Devices). You will then see a dropdown menu so why not hit ‘Start a Discussion in New here, say hello’
You could copy and paste the text from this your first post. You can also search through existing ‘Discussions’ and click [reply] if you want to put up a comment.
When it comes to the practical challenges of supporting someone you may benefit from joining our supportive Family and friends and Carers only groups where you will connect with others supporting family and friends
It’s always good to talk so do call the Macmillan Support Services on 0808 808 00 00 - most services are open 8am to 8pm, 7 days a week Clicking here to see what is available. This service provides lots of cancer information, emotional support, benefit and financial guidance or just a listening ear. You may also find our Ask an Expert section helpful as well.
To find information covering diagnosis, treatments and pages covering most types of cancers check our Online Information and Support Section.
Talking to people face to face can indeed help a lot but during these strange times it’s not that available but do check to see if you have any Local Macmillan Support in your area has opened up. Do also check out for a local Maggie's Centre in your area.
Always around if you need further help in navigating the community.
All the very best ((hugs))
