Hello, I can’t believe I am doing this. I always thought I was strong but the last 12 months have been difficult and I find I’m really struggling now. My husband was diagnosed with stage 4 metastatic cancer October 2020 and was told he would have 12-24 months by the urologist. We know it’s incurable, and our local regional cancer centre have told us to forget about the timescale given at the time of diagnosis. He has responded really well to the treatment so far. The real issue is my mother was diagnosed with terminal lung cancer with brain mets on the 1st July 2021 and died on the 29th July. I nursed her at home and was with her when she died. I wouldn’t change that, it was an honour to be with her but I’m now having real anxiety about what the future will bring. My head is telling all is well with my husband just now, but I can’t get the initial consultation and timescales given originally out of my head. I feel I can’t talk to anyone about how I feel, they all have their own issues and some have had cancer, how can I talk to them about how I’m feeling when it is so close to home for them. I actually feel doing this this is wrong too but I know I need some support, but for what I don’t know
I wish I could help you . I feel your pain . I’m in a similar situation . I hope someone can help you 
Hi Riley2021 and a warm welcome to the Online Community although so sorry to hear about your mum, my sincere condolences and to have to deal with your husbands diagnosis as well, this is such a hard time for all the family but I do hope you will find lots of comfort and support from people who understand here on the Online Community.
The New to Community area is like our reception where you can be signposted on to our many dedicated support groups and when it comes to the practical challenges of supporting someone you may benefit from joining our supportive Carers only and Supporting someone with incurable cancer groups. These are safe places to talk to others supporting family and friends.
If you'd like to connect in with this groups, you need to join the groups. First click on the Green links I have created above. Then once the page opens up click on the black banner that says [click to join] at the bottom, or the [Join] button under "Group tools."
You can then introduce yourself by putting up a new post by clicking in the box near the top right with + New (Computers) or + (Mobile Devices). You will then see a dropdown menu so why not hit ‘Start a Discussion in New here, say hello’
You could copy and paste the text from this your first post. You can also search through existing ‘Discussions’ and click [reply] if you want to put up a comment.
It’s always good to talk so do call the Macmillan Support Services on 0808 808 00 00 - most services are open 8am to 8pm, 7 days a week Clicking here to see what is available. This service provides lots of cancer information, emotional support, benefit and financial guidance or just a listening ear. You may also find our Ask an Expert section helpful as well.
Talking to people face to face can indeed help a lot but during these strange times it’s not that available but do check to see if you have any Local Macmillan Support in your area has opened up. Do also check out for a local Maggie's Centre in your area.
Always around if you need further help in navigating the community.
All the very best ((hugs))
