Hello
This is me, Ocean Valentine in here. I am currently 28 and haven’t talked about my cancer in so long I almost forgot it happened. Until I realised I am the odd one out everywhere, and the last time I felt at home was before treatment ended 9 years ago. I am probably the loneliest person I know that looks the most like they’ve got it all under control, their life together, a partner I love, a job I love, a few hobbies. I ‘look’ like I have friends to the people in my course at Uni now. But I have none.
I was diagnosed at 19, when I lived in my mother country. I came to the U.K. at 22 looking for something. 6 years later I have moved cities twice and I have no friends other than my partner.
I feel like cancer set me back a few years (I couldn’t study for a really long time), but now that I am trying to catch up with life, I am too old for any of my University classmates.
Anywhere I go I’m just the quirky queer girl that is fun but no one is interested in being actual friends with. Forgettable. Am I terrible at making friends? Or do I unconsciously push people away in case I get ill again? In case I die? In case they die?
Is this where we come to find each other?
Hi and a very warm welcome to the online community
I think we all recognise your feelings of life having moved on while it stood still for us while having our treatment.
I can see that you've joined the life after cancer group which is a great place to discuss things like the physical and emotional after effects of cancer, returning to work, or trying to move on with your life. When you're ready to post there just click on the link I've created and you can then introduce yourself and post in the same way as you did here and join in with existing conversations by clicking on 'reply'.
It would be great if you could pop something about your diagnosis and treatment so far into your profile as it really helps others when answering or looking for someone with a similar pathway. It also means that you don't have to keep repeating yourself. To do this click on your username and then select 'Profile'. You can amend it at any time and if you're not sure what to write you can take a look at mine by clicking on my username.
If you have any difficulty navigating the community just drop me a reply and I'll be pleased to help.
x
"Never regret a day in your life, good days give you happiness, bad days give you experience"
Hi and welcome to the Online Community but I am so sorry to hear that you are dealing with the post treatment bumps in living life but I do hope you will find lots of comfort and support here on the Online Community.
The Community has many dedicated support groups and I see you have joined our Life after cancer group. This is a safe place to talk to other people who might be dealing with the same experiences.
If you'd like to connect into this group, you need to join the group. First click on the Green link I have created above. Then then introduce yourself by putting up a new post by clicking in the box near the top right with + New (Computers) or + (Mobile Devices). You will then see a dropdown menu so why not hit ‘Start a Discussion in New here, say hello’
You could copy and paste the text from this your first post. You can also search through existing ‘Discussions’ and click [reply] if you want to put up a comment.
It’s always good to talk so do call the Macmillan Support Services on 0808 808 00 00 - most services are open 8am to 8pm, 7 days a week Clicking here to see what is available. This service provides lots of cancer information, emotional support, benefit and financial guidance or just a listening ear.
Always around if you need further help in navigating the community.
All the very best ((hugs))
