We found out yesterday that my husband’s cancer (a very rare and atypically aggressive salivary gland cancer) has recurred. It is incurable. He starts palliative chemo next week. He might have a couple of years or it could only be months.
We have 2 kids, 11 & 3, and I’m 14 weeks pregnant with our 3rd. Sadly, our eldest lost his mum (my husband’s first wife) to cancer when he was 3. I do not have the words to convey his devastation at the news his dad is going to die soon.
i feel like I’m in free fall. I simply do not know how I will cope on my own. My worst fear is that my husband will die before the baby is born.
ive searched but can find no information on how to cope with a spouse’s terminal diagnosis while pregnant. Can anyone help?
Hi and welcome to the Online Community but I am so sorry to hear about your husbands diagnosis, this is such a challenging time for all the family but I do hope you'll find lots of comfort and support here on the Online Community.
The New to Community is like the Community Reception area. There are many cancer experiences so the Community has many dedicated support groups and when it comes to the practical challenges of supporting someone during these difficult times you may benefit from joining our supportive Carers only and Supporting someone with incurable cancer groups where you will connect with others supporting family and friends
If you'd like to connect into this groups, you need to join the groups. First click on the Green link I have created above. Then click on the black banner that says [click to join] at the bottom, or the [Join] button under "Group tools."
You can then introduce yourself by putting up a new post by clicking in the box near the top right with + New (Computers) or + (Mobile Devices). You will then see a dropdown menu so why not hit ‘Start a Discussion in New here, say hello’
You could copy and paste the text from this your first post. You can also search through existing ‘Discussions’ and click [reply] if you want to put up a comment.
It’s always good to talk so do call the Macmillan Support Services on 0808 808 00 00 - most services are open 8am to 8pm, 7 days a week Clicking here to see what is available. This service provides lots of cancer information, emotional support, benefit and financial guidance or just a listening ear.
You may find some of these Macmillan resources helpful on understanding childrens' reactions and also talking to children when an adult has cancer. You can also download, or order a paper copy, of this booklet.
Talking to people face to face can indeed help a lot but during these strange times it’s not that available but do check to see if you have any Local Macmillan Support in your area has opened up. Do also check out for a local Maggie's Centre as these folks are amazing. During lockdown a lot of their services moved onto online video support. But I see our local Maggie’s (Inverness) are starting to open up for one on one support.
Always around if you need further help in navigating the community.
All the very best ((hugs))
