Hi all. I'm really hoping someone can advise me/Dad.
Mum was diagnosed end of May with breast cancer and has just finished her carbo/PAC treatment and on the final push of EC until the end of November before surgery (fingers crossed).
Over the last five months Dad's been her main carer witj me and my brother supporting them.
She's been amazing throughout, taking it in her stride and putting on her brave face for everyone. But she's been letting out of her bottled emotions on to Dad and he's beginning to really struggle in keeping his mental health in check as well as trying to support hers as well.
He's calling me in tears telling me that she's calling him a control freak, and that he's not letting her get on with what she wants to do and essentially he feels he can do no right.
Today she was adamant about having her booster jab although it's not been the full six months, he drove her to several clinics and then sat outside one for hours until it closed because she wasn't going to move until they gave it her. Which they didn't and so she was angry with him because she said he didn't really want her to have it. She then refused to get of the car when they got home and that's when he called me in tears not knowing what to say. I then couldn't call her because she'd have known he'd spoken to me and then would have be upset about him going to me behind her back.
We both completely understand that she is scared and needs help but she pretends to me she's fine so I can't say anything without seeming out of the blue, and Dad can't convince her of anything without being controlling and today she was refusing to even listen to the medical staff who were saying she only had to wait until tomorrow.
Dad knows his role in this is emotional punch bag, and that in turn he releases his emotion to me to let it out but I'm at the end of my limited knowledge and we need more input and how to best help her especially as we're so close.
I've been googling and searching this and other sites and all I can find is generIc phrases like "patients can be angry and upset with their..." But nothing in how to help them or offer support to their key carer.
If anyone could just point me in the direction of anywhere that can give substantial advise for this that would be amazing.
Or any words of wisdom on what she's going through so we can support her properly would be greatly appreciated.
Take care
