Hi my mum is in last stages of end of life,I don't want to do a bedside vigil and watch her keep deteriate or die or see her when she's dead. My family completely accept my choice but I feel wrong in myself is this normal has anyone else done this?
Hi and welcome to the Online Community but I am so sorry to read about your mum and the challenges your are dealing with but I do hope you will find the support available in the community helpful.
You honestly have to make your own choices that are best for you and do this with no regrets. When my parents and in-laws all died I never sat with them or went to see them in the chapel of rest. I preferred to remember them for who they were when they lived.
But you will find talking with others who are walking the exact same type of path will help you navigate this challenging time.
The New to Community is like the Community Reception area. As there are many cancer types and experiences, likewise the Community has many dedicated support groups to allow you to connect with others and when it comes to the practical challenges of supporting someone you may benefit from joining our supportive Carers only and Supporting someone with incurable cancer groups where you will connect with others supporting family and friends during these difficult times.
Navigating the community will depend on the device you are using. To go to the group just click on the Green link I have created above.
When the group page opens choose [Join]……. A black box with text will also be visible so you can also join by clicking anywhere in the black box.
You can then introduce yourself by putting up a new post by clicking in the box near the top with + New(Computers) or + (Mobile Devices). You will then see a dropdown menu so why not hit ‘Start a Discussion in New here, say hello’
You could just copy and paste the text from this your first post. You can search through existing ‘Discussions’ and click 'reply' if you want to put up a comment.
It’s always good to talk so do call the Macmillan Support Services on 0808 808 00 00 - most services are open 8am to 8pm, 7 days a week Clicking here to see what is available. This service provides lots of emotional support, benefit and financial guidance or just a listening ear.
Alway around if you need further help in navigating the community.
All the very best ((hugs))
