Hi everyone,
I'm new here, I'm just putting a message out there to ask anyone with experience of this to give advice.
My beloved granddad was diagnosed with kidney cancer last week along with vascular dementia and also, yesterday were told it is spreading to his lungs rapidly. He is 81 and deteriorating quickly.
He's coming out of hospital today and going back home to my Nan where we are having district nurses in every morning and night time to relieve her of doing everything for him.
There's a few things I'd like to ask.
The first one being how do you cope? I took the news last week quite well and didn't really get upset, but yesterday hearing that it is spreading, I've not took it so well. I don't know whether I want to see him the way he is but then I feel bad for not wanting to go? My emotions are all over the place and I literally have no other place to turn to as I don't want to burden my family with anymore upset. I've been psyching myself up for the day he comes out of hospital, but now it is actually here, it feels like the beginning of the end and I am really struggling.
Second, will he be in pain? And how long? I am 22, my Nan on my moms side passed away from leukaemia in 2009 and it was horrible, I hated seeing her in pain and I was only 10. I am honestly dreading seeing him deteriorate and even more so dreading seeing him in pain if he gets pain. I'm asking for any advice on how it goes, especially with his dementia as well as the cancer. Will it affect the cancer more? Or does it not make any difference?
He is not having any chemo or operations on it as he isn't strong enough to get through it. I am just trying to prepare myself for what's to come and I would really appreciate any experiences or advice I can be given at this point.
Thank you :)
Hi and welcome to the Online Community.
I am so sorry to read about your grandad and the journey you are all on but I hope you will find the support available in the community helpful at this difficult and challenging time.
Talking with others who are walking the same type of cancer treatment support path (my one is completely different) will help you navigate this unwanted journey.
The New to Community is like the Community Reception area and as there are many cancer types and experiences so likewise the Community has many support groups but I see you have already joined and posted in some of our supportive Kidney cancer and Lung Cancer group as these will be good places for you to connect with other folks who may be on the same cancer treatment support pathway.
When it comes to the practical challenges of supporting someone you may benefit from talking with others caring for family and friends so can I recommend that you join our supportive Carers only and Supporting someone with incurable cancer groups where you will connect with others supporting family and friends
It’s always good to talk so do call the Macmillan Support Services on 0808 808 00 00 - most services are open 8am to 8pm, 7 days a week Clicking here to see what is available. This service provides lots of cancer information, emotional support, financial guidance or just a listening ear.
All the very best ((hugs))
