Hi I’m Naomi, I’m new around here.
Sadly on the 27th August we were given the news that my mum has incurable aggressive gall bladder cancer.
Mum was diagnosed with gall stones at the start of the year, and was advised to change her diet which she did (no sugar/fat), this worked for a few weeks, until her pain ruturned. There were countless visits to the drs, who didn’t really want to do anything for mum she was just told we will refer you to the hospital etc. At one point mum told the dr she was worried about gall bladder cancer and was told “oh it’s very rare.”
Back in may mum was referred for a scan of her gall bladder and all came back clear.
During May-August mum really wasn’t well, she was in chronic pain, had to be signed off work, and spent lots of time in bed, not to mention the excessive amount of weight she was loosing. She was also very dizzy. A blood test was done which showed a reduced liver function, again another referral to hospital with no urgency.
In august after a week of no sleep, worrying herself silly over what was wrong, and reaching the point she couldn’t cope, and having no joy from the drs, mum went to our local A&E with the intention of seeing the mental health team, she also explained her pain troubles.
After a long wait overnight in A&E mum was admitted to hospital (Covid assessment) where it was discovered she had Covid, and she was transferred to a Covid ward. Eventually mum was prescribed a relaxant, and a sleeping tablet so she was able to get some sleep.
Scans were done in hospital which showed the tube leading to mums liver was blocked (Hense the reduced liver function). So a procedure was scheduled to fit a stent to open the blockage and to have a look at the blockage.
On that Friday night, I was called up to the hospital (my step dad had Covid too I couldn’t be there) to be there when the gastroenterologist shared the news that hit us for 6- Mum had a very aggressive form of gall bladder cancer that had spread in 3 months to the pancreas, lymph nodes and was on its way to the liver. The gastroenterologist even said he had to look twice as there was nothing showing on a scan just 3 months ago in may.
Mum met with her gastroenterologist last week and he confirmed the worse news that there is no cure, and that they can only offer palliative chemo. Of course we are all absolutely shocked to hear this news. I an due to get married in may with my mum being my maid of honour and it’s so hard planning a wedding with the weight hanging over me that mum might not be there.
I want to make memories with my mum, but she has good days and bad, and bad days are really bad she just goes to bed. Mum is incredibly depressed as she is not ready to leave her family, and feels she cannot cope.
I dread contacting my mum as hearing her in such desperation with pain and mental health is unbearable.
Mum has her first meet with her oncologist next week, so we will see where we go from there.
My mum is only 55 and I am 31, and still very much need my best friend around, there is so much we still need to experience together. When I wake up the reality hits me, and it’s so hard. I put on such a strong act for mum and stay positive, but inside my heart is breaking. How can you carry on living your life without such a prominent figure in it, mum is the only person on this world who gets me 100%. I can’t even buy an item of clothing without mums opinion.
Hi Naomi and a warm welcome to the online community
I'm very sorry to read that your mum has recently been diagnosed with incurable gallbladder cancer and I can understand what a worrying time this will be for the whole family.
As the online community is divided up into different support groups I going to recommend that you join the gallbladder cancer group which is a great place to ask questions and share experiences with others who either have this type of cancer or who have a loved one living with it. Another group which I think you would benefit from joining and posting in is the supporting someone with incurable cancer group which is a safe and supportive place to discuss your emotions about the prospect of losing your mum as well as practical issues about palliative care.
To join either or both of these groups just click on the links I've created and then choose 'click to join' or 'join' (depending on the device you're using) on the page that opens. You can then introduce yourself and post in the same way as you did here and join in with existing conversations by clicking on 'reply'.
It would be great if you could pop something about your mum's diagnosis and treatment into your profile as it really helps others when answering or looking for someone with a similar pathway. It also means that you don't have to keep repeating yourself. To do this click on your username and then select 'Profile'. You can amend it at any time and if you're not sure what to write you can take a look at mine by clicking on my username.
If you have any difficulty navigating the community just drop me a reply and I'll be pleased to help.
x
"Never regret a day in your life, good days give you happiness, bad days give you experience"
