My mum was diagnosed with ampullary cancer a few weeks ago after becoming jaundiced and unwell quite suddenly. Her first oncology appointment was today; the only option available is palliative chemo but she’s too unwell for that at the moment after a bout of c-diff. Things do not look very optimistic.
I am struggling tonight, not only for me but for my two children who love their Grandma so much. I am particularly finding it hard to contemplate the fact that she’s going to suffer, and I’m also worried about how we are going to cope with supporting her properly. I have a sister, thank goodness, but we both work full time in very busy jobs and have two young children each. I work away from home a lot too.
I guess that none of these feelings are unusual in the circumstances, but they are new for me. I’m not sure where to turn with questions (I haven’t had any contact with the cancer team or the Macmillan nurse that mum has been assigned). Actually maybe I should wake my husband up for a hug. Things are always worse in the middle of the night.
Hi and welcome to the Online Community but so sorry to hear about your mum’s diagnosis. A cancer diagnosis like this in the family can be very challenging and you end up with this massive list of questions with no answers.
But talking with others who are walking the same type of cancer support journey may well help you and the family navigate this difficult time.
The New to Community is like the Community Reception area and as there are many cancer types and experiences so likewise the Community has many support groups so can I recommend you start of by joining our supportive Carers only and Supporting someone with incurable cancer groups where you will connect with others supporting family and friends
To join a group just click on the link above then choose 'click to join' or 'join' (depending on the device you're using) on the page that opens.
You can then introduce yourself by putting up a ‘New Thread’ or hit the box with the X on the top right (phones), you could just copy and paste the text from this your first post. You can also join in with existing ‘Discussions’ by clicking on 'reply'.
You may find some of these Macmillan resources helpful on understanding childrens' reactions and also talking to children when an adult has cancer. You can also download, or order a paper copy, of this booklet.
It’s always good to talk so do call the Macmillan Support Services on 0808 808 00 00 - most services are open 8am to 8pm, 7 days a week Clicking here to see what is available. This service provides lots of cancer information, support, financial guidance or just a listening ear.
We also have Cancer Nurse Team in our Ask an Expert section, but do allow two working days for replies from our expert team.
All the very best ((hugs))
