Hi folks, my dad was diagnosed with stage 4 SCLC in april. It was totally unexpected we were in total shock, as he was only 55. He got really unwell very quickly and we sadly lost him a couple of weeks ago. He was my best friend and i just dont know what im going to do without him. I cant really get my head around it. I truly cant believe he is gone.. I dont feel emotional, which is really odd. Is that normal? It doesn't feel it. I get a gut retching feeling when i think about not seeing him again.
Hi Needtochat and welcome to the Online Community but so sorry to hear about the death of your dad, my deepest condolences.
I lost my mum back in November (not to cancer) and it was also very sudden, we had been talking on the phone on Sunday and she was gone on Thursday.
We live 2 hours away so on the Thursday we got the call that she had been taken to hospital, we eventually managed to drive down but after a long discussion with the clinical staff I was advised not to go to the ward as the ward was not a safe place for me as I am in the Extremely Clinically Vulnerable group and had been shielding for 6 months.
It was a very hard decision at the time but now 8 months on it was the correct one for my wider family. I also have not been that emotional, I am rather philosophical I that this is life. But I was honoured to do her service and as it was a very small group of our family her service was not formal and we all spent time sharing all our wonderful memories.
We have spent the months clearing out her house and reflecting on the great memories. We have made up photo albums (remember them) for all her grandchildren and great grandchildren so she will live on in the family.
You may find talking with others who are walking the same type of journey will help you navigate this difficult time.
The New to Community is like the Community Reception area and as there are many cancer types and experiences so likewise the Community has many support groups so can I recommend you start of by joining our supportive Bereaved family and friends group as this will be a good place to connect with folks who may be on the same pathway.
To join a group just click on the link above then choose 'click to join' or 'join' (depending on the device you're using) on the page that opens.
You can then introduce yourself by putting up a ‘New Thread’ or hit the box with the X on the top right (phones), you could just copy and paste the text from this your first post. You can also join in with existing ‘Discussions’ by clicking on 'reply'.
It’s always good to talk so do call the Macmillan Support Services on 0808 808 00 00 - most services are open 8am to 8pm, 7 days a week Clicking here to see what is available. This service provides lots of support or just a listening ear.
We also have Cancer Nurse Team in our Ask an Expert section, but do allow two working days for replies from our expert team.
All the very best ((hugs))
