Do I tell my brother his prognosis?

If I were you I don't think I'd tell him. If he wants to know he'll ask his consultant about a time frame.  On December 3rd 2019 I asked my consultant about my prognosis and I was given up to 6 months left to live. It was the worst 6 months of my whole life, I was counting down the days on the calendar. I had no reason to live,  I wouldn't see my 2 daughters walk down the aisle, I wouldn't see my baby grandson grow up, all I could think about is what I would miss and I was terrified about how my daughters would cope. To cut a long story short, that was 17 months ago. And I'm still here enjoying my life as much as I possibly can. Yeah I have bad days but I also have lots of good days. I was with my daughter when she gave birth to my grandson. I've had lots of days out walking around different towns taking in the sights, sometimes when I'm too tired to walk around towns I take my electric scooter but I try not to use it unless I really have to. A few days ago I went to a large zoo with my daughters and my 5 month old grandson so I used my scooter. Next Saturday I've booked a half hour helicopter flight around Blackpool, which I'm really excited about. I'm also looking forward to my grandsons first Xmas, he's going to be one very spoilt little boy. I think what I'm getting at is this..... if he wants to find out, he'll ask his consultant, then maybe he'll hate his consultant for telling him rather than hate you. Also,  the consultant isn't God, he doesn't know for certain how long your brother has got left, they CAN and quite often DO get it wrong. Whether your brother decides he wants to know or doesn't want to know he's going to want your love and support through all of this. You personally are going to go through hell, but he needs you to be strong for him. I know this makes me sound really unfeeling but I'm not. My heart breaks for you, but you have the night time to cry your tears, and I'm sure you have good friends who you can confide in.i really hope that all of this has helped, even if it's just a little bit. Xxx

Hi  and welcome to the Online Community but so sorry to hear about your brothers diagnosis.

A terminal cancer diagnosis in the family can be very challenging but one thing I have learned from my own journey and supporting others on the community is never use Google as a benchmark. I have talked with friends list in the community who were ‘given’ 6 months 3 years on they were still around…… it’s not an exact science.

I was diagnosed with an incurable blood cancer back in 1999, even back in late 2013 I was told 2-3 years…… but 7-8 years on I am in remission and living well.

For me it’s up to his clinical team to give the information then his family to support him

Talking with others who are walking the same type of cancer support journey will help you all navigate this difficult time so can I suggest you join our Supporting someone with incurable cancer group where you will connect with others supporting family and friends.

To join a group just click on the link above then choose 'click to join' or 'join' (depending on the device you're using) on the page that opens.

You can then introduce yourself by putting up a ‘New Thread’ or hit the box with the X on the top right (phones), you could just copy and paste the text from this your first post. You can also join in with existing ‘Discussions’ by clicking on 'reply'. 

It’s always good to talk so do call the Macmillan Support Services on 0808 808 00 00 - most services are open 8am to 8pm, 7 days a week Clicking here to see what is available. This service provides lots of cancer information, support, financial guidance or just a listening ear.

We also have Cancer Nurse Team in our Ask an Expert section, but do allow two working days for replies from our expert team.

To find information covering diagnosis, treatments and pages covering most types of cancers check our Online Information and Support Section. 

All the very best.